On the way home from work /Uncle Chris' house where Jackson stayed today, we drove past a little country church where the husband a friend of mine is the minister.

Jackson - "look, look mum, there's a church"

Me - "Yes Jack, a nice little church isn't it"

Jackson - "Sam's dad is the Prime Minister at that church isn't he mum?''

Me - "weeeelll....yeah kind of darl"

Jackson - "Sam's daddy is the Prime Minister at two churches mum, wow!"

Me - *chuckles* wondering whether or not to correct him.....

.....decided on the latter, they're only babies for a moment in time right?

I think I've only mentioned our trip to Thailand vaguely here, so I thought I should elaborate on that, as it is getting closer, and has been causing some trepidation in my house lately!

Gez and I have been together almost 5years. In all that time, the longest we have had together at a time without any children, is three nights. THREE NIGHTS And that was only once, after our wedding in 2006! We never dated like regular couples, never had trips away together, as I had Jackson before we met.

So....we booked flights to Thailand, spurred on by my Mum, and my brother, who is also heading there around the same time. The thing is, that when we booked it, we were so wrapped up in the whole idea of going snorkling in 25degree waters, riding elephants and petting tigers, that we kind of overlooked the fact that 3 weeks (almost) is waaayyy to long away from our babies :(
Therefore, while Gez had been getting increasingly excited about our holiday, and his first trip overseas, I on the other hand, have been avoiding any conversation/thoughts (in fact anything to do with the whole thing) like the plague.

This has left Gez feeling very upset with me. So lately I have been making a bit more of an effort to be excited, and lo and behold, I'm actually starting to look forward to it a little! Not the missing my boys part, but the whole time away with just the two of us, and exploring a new place together for the first time. I have been buying a few little things for the trip, and planning what to pack and such, and it is starting to feel real.

I know what you are thinking, three weeks is much to long, and how could I ever do it? Thing is, my mum and Dad will look after the boys as well as I could ever hope, and the boys will have a ball living on the farm. I, on the other hand, am worried that I will not cope so well, but have come to accept, that Gez and I NEED this.
We really do. Simple as that.
We have been through so much together in the last five years, good and bad. We have had our relationship tested several times, as do all couples, and we have come through strong, but somewhat scarred. This holiday, whilst on one hand will be so difficult to leave the boys, will give Gez and I a chance to re-connect, and figure out what we want for our future, and where we are in our marriage.

I think the thing I am most looking forward to, is taking the boys next time!

Lol, It has been quite awhile since I last posted, and not for lack of eventful happenings either!
I simply have not been motivated, not seem to have had the spare moments, to write about it all! Here's a little update since the last post;

Work...
...is hectic at the moment. School holiday time is always busy for me, and although I did organise my holiday program at work so I could spend a little more time than usual with the boys, I am still feeling like it is not fair on Jack to spend half his holidays between his grandparents and school holiday care.
I need to be a little careful with myself at the moment, cos I have noticed that for the past couple of days I ave been feeling just on the edge of a panic attack, but have been keeping it at bay so far, and will just keep taking a breath now and again to stop myself worrying over minor things.
I do feel lucky that I have the ability to rearrange my own work hours a little to suit my family, and that I have such great family who are always happy to spend time with the kids, meaning they can have time away from childcare while Gez and I are working. I am taking a small group to Melbourne tomorrow for a girls shopping trip, so that will be a lot of fun, and next week taking a group to a local Maze and also a skating rink/go kart centre in Bendigo. It will be a nice week.

My monkeys..
..well I think I have mostly covered them, except to say that I am getting a little nervous, as Riley's operation is next friday, not even a week away now. I'm sure he will be fine, and I am looking forward to the changes I am expecting to see in him after the procedure. We have to travel to the next town, about 1/2 hr away, and stay the night, so I don't know how he will cope being away from Jack and Daddy! I will be staying with him of course, but he hates being away from home.
Jackson's Birthday is only three weeks away now and he is so excited! I still haven't got the invites out, as many of the children he wants to invite, are from school, and I don't know thier addresses to post them out, so they will just have to get them a little late.
Belinda and Mon have offered to help out o the day, and Mon works in childcare, so she will be great with the kids and keeping them occupied. B will be a great help with the decorating, and helping me with the food, so I think it will be quite relaxing for a themed party with 15 or so 3-6year olds!

Money..
I dont want to gripe on about this, and if you dont want to read about it, I suggest you skip it altogether because I know that it is a common problem to most people in the current climate of expensive food, fuel and childcare, as well as skyhigh mortgages.

However, our finances at the moment are seriously dubious. I am working four days a week, and Gerard works full time, as well as being on call five nights a fortnight, and every second weekend. WE ARE WORKING OUR BUTTS OFF...and seem to still have bills piling up and nothing extra to buy things we need. It has been making me feel a bit down lately, that we were actually better off when I was a stay at home mama and a foster mum, than I am working, but to stop, would mean the kids miss out in the future, and that I throw away my career. It feels so crappy that I can be working so hard, and yet it is harder to find the extra cash to go and buy some clothes for us, or have dinner out, cos we are so busy trying to pay bills and keep up with childacer and fuel and repayments. It just sucks, and that is all I am going to say for now.

Gerard...
It was his birthday yesterday, and even though I tend to be a little slack in the gift department, I think he had a nice time. We went out for dinner after work, with his parents and my grandma. It was quite a nice night, considering his mum and I don't always see eye to eye (more on that another post!) anyway, It was nice, and the boys had made Daddy gorgeous cards at daycare (I called to let them know at care that it was Gerard's birthday) and I got them some gifts to give him, a bbq cover, and some travel items for our Thailand holiday, so i think he was pretty happy.

Anyway, Gerard just got back from a couple of call-outs, so i'm gonna go make im some breakfast. Today is a busy day, we have some friends from Bendigo visiting this morning and for lunch, and then some of my girlfriends from high school are catching up for a grand final day get-together. will post about it all asap!

Charli xoxox

Is getting home after work, and having the boys race to the door for thier cuddles!!
Then, walking into the hallway, to the smell of dinner cooking :)

Pure Bliss!

How lucky I am to have such treasures in my life!

I'm sitting here laughing while I type this!
How cute are the things kids come up with?

Riley went to mum's the other day, for his very first sleep over without Jackson. He spends lots of time with my parents on the farm, but has never wanted to sleep over until now.
Anyway, mum, being a teacher, talks to Ry all the way home, and ask's him all sorts of questions about the animals they see, and which way to go to get there.
So, almost home, she asks Riley does he know what's that growing in Grandad's paddock?
Riley nods his head, but doesn't say anything...
Mum says " It's Canola"
and then my clever little pumpkin says
"Yes!, and Grandad spreads that on his toast(!!!)"

Awww!

...for my son and the dad he's never met.

Caught me by surprise...just sneaked up.
Hasn't happened for so long, but in the weakest of moments my heart aches for my boy who has never met his father.
Through my tears, I thank God for Gez, who fills that space for my baby boy.

I love you both so so so much

Well, after a couple of months rest, I spoke with our FC agency today, and we have two respite placements coming up in the near future by the looks of it! I'm excited, Gez however, maybe not so much lol!You see, I have a habit of biting off as much or more than I can chew at times, and this is one of them. Problem is though, that I just love it, as do the kids and Gerard - even though he won't admit it always ;)

So, it will be a bit of a waiting game, the thing with FC is that things fall through quite a lot, so you cant count you pennies on anything, but hopefully, we are getting a challanging 6year old boy, with significant trauma associated behavioural problems.
This placement will be just a couple of hours every now and then to start with, as he has major anxiety issues and attachment problems too.

Also, a sibling pair, 4 year old 'B' (boy) and his 7mth old sister 'M'. We've had these two before, and they are just precious! I cant find any photo's, but probably wouldnt have any suitable to post here, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see if they come!

Still feeling pretty low and sorry for myself, especially as it gets later in the day, because I'm feeling worse again! Hopefully I'm not too bad tomorrow, cos I have a big day at work!

Talk soon, Charli xox

...and I've got it!
I had a funny dry cough yesterday at work, and thought I was getting hayfever or something, but by the time I got home at 6.30 I had a fever and started feeling awful! I work up feeling like the living dead this morning, so just lazing around with Riley watching TV and doing nothing in particular. Lucky it's my day off, I really cant afford to take to many more days off work before Thailand in November.

Will be back later to report on my misery lol!

Charli (cough splutter!)

Yep, you got it! It's birthday season again...well, almost anyway!
Jackson will turn six next month, a while to go, but I am already in preparation mode, due to working and not feeling like I have enough hours in the day :S

I just don't want to get to the last minute, and realize I'm not organised, so i'm getting as much done as possible to save stress! So anyway, tonight it was the party bags.
Jack has decided that he wants a Pirate Party, and I'm pretty excited cos he has not had a party for a few years, and never a theme. I was pretty freaked out by the whole idea, as I never had anything like that as a kid, Birthdays were pretty low-key, and partied few and far between for me as my birthday is just after Christmas during school holidays.

I went shopping with jules the other day, and now I'm pretty excited, cos I found some cute as stuff, and I've decided that to save stress and preparation time, I'm going to hold the party between 2 and 4pm, so I only have to prepare snacks, not a whole lunch!

I made party bags tonight, they are so cute! I've always been kind of against the whole skull and crossbones thing, feeling that I wanted to keep all that 'Yucky' stuff from my boys until they were old enough to choose for themselves, and instead have made a point of dressing them in plain clothes and not succumbing to all the plastic-y rubbish out there meant for 'boys', and opting for more organic wooden playthings, without the gross looking faces and weapons!

I digress!
Now, I have decided that you can't actually hold a pirate party without the 'jolly roger' flag and a few other pirate looking things, so have almost given in to it (insert stern slap to the wrist here) . The party bags are black fabric with white skull and crossbones on, which I sewed up into little drawstring pouches tonight, and filled with mostly tactful little treats, such as a mini pirate beanie-kids teddy bear, a sticker sheet, treasure map activity sheets and mini telescopes. I have however kept it very much weapon free, and will encourage the same for guests if I can help it (mean mummy that I am)

So anyway, I am very early in getting organised (so unlike me!) and I think it will go pretty well!

On other things, We had a little party for (my brother) Geoff's 21st birthday, which was last weekend. Gez and I took the kids for a little while, but then Gez dropped them to his parents and came back to the party. This is the first time we've done this for ages, usually one of us goes home with them. It was so nice, we had quite a bit to drink (again, unusual) and had a nice night spent with family and friends, and an even nicer sleep in in the morning, without two little karate kids waking us with a knee in the back in the early hours :P

Fathers Day was nice, albeit a little queasy for some (not mentioning any names here lol) and we spent it with Gerard's parents on the farm. A lovely bbq lunch, and then Jackson decided daddy should have fish and chips for tea considering it was fathers day. He said it so cute, that Gez didn't dare tell him no, even though it made him sick all day today, and I have hardly eaten a thing i'm so bloated! Oh well, sometimes you just have to do it, and that's the first and last lot of fish and chips we will consume this year!
I hope all the Daddies out there had a wonderful Fathers Day!

Now, for the best news of all (I saved it till last!)
Jackson and Gez and I went to Jack's parent teacher interview tonight, and I've got to say that I am just so proud of the little monkey! He is going outstandingly well in all area's and has been offered a place in the bi-lingual grade next year! I just feel so blessed that even through all the trouble he has had with his hearing over the past three years, he has managed to keep up, and even surpass many other kids in his grade, which is just amazing. Jackson, you have made mumma so very very proud, and Dad just thinks you are the cleverest little thing around!


Love and Hugs,
Charli xoxox

I have a big day today. You know when you plan and plan and plan something for ages, and then all of a sudden it's upon you, and you just cant remember if you've done everything?
Lol, I've done this so many times over the past three years, and never had any major disasters...well none I couldn't deal with anyway!
I'm not a muso..not at all! When the bands call me to ask what kind of Amp we are using, I have to call the provider and feel like a tool asking them!! So no, definately not a muso :S
Anyways, I hope it will all run smoothly, the last Disco I ran ended up with the security guys forgetting to turn up, so I'm being extra vigilant this time. The kids all had a ball...just not the adults!

The boys are gorgeous at the moment! Riley and I had a lovely day yesterday, driving to Wodonga to visit Julianne and 'The Girls'. I tell you what, they are the two most sweet gorgeous little princesses I have ever seen!! Talk about beautiful! My boys just adore them :)
We took a little drive to Spotlight, as Jackson is having a pirate party for his Sixth birthday next month, so I am trying to get organised early! Anyway, Riley and I had a ball together picking out things for the party, and I just had such fun spending time with him and Jules and the girls!

Jackson has been having a little trouble settling lately, and is tired as well. I think it's the change of weather, and getting used to hearing well again (he's still quite loud , habit I think)
He had a nice night with mum and dad on Tuesday, well, he always has a nice time there, it's the one on one that he just soaks up. I think it's a first child thing lol!

Anyways, I'm at work, I started this last night, and thought i'd better finish and post it!
Again, nothing remotely profound to speak of, I think of things all the time, just not when i'm near a computer, then forget!

Cya,
Charli x0x0x