Riley generally comes to sleep with Gez and I in the morning anytime after 4am.
Yesterday moring, we woke him to go to school holiday program, and asked him what sort of sandwich he would like for lunch.

Daddy: What would you like in your sandwich today possum?

Riley: Just a plain sandwich please Daddy

Me(confused): You mean a sandwich with just butter in it?

Riley (without any hesitation): Nope, with a plane in it mummy....and the passengers too.

Mum: Hmmmmm

I've been out of action on the blogging front of late...I make no excuses, just lack of motivation.

I have just started my Diploma of Community Services work by distance ed. We got our books on the 19th March and the first assignment is due this thursday. That left me with only 19 days to study, complete and post the assignment. I was feeling totally overwhelmed, as I also have two major events in the pipeline at work which need my full attention. I wasn't getting anywhere at all with the study until Thursday evening last week, where I stayed at a colleague's home to get some dedicated study happening! Deb is doing the same course, and we are getting to know each other quite well through our work, and our teenage girls who have become friends. So we studied hard, and I'm almost finished, and feeling a little more relaxed, as the next assignment is not due until the 15th April and looks not too difficult.
I am so glad that I am studying within my field of work though, because it would be much more difficult if I did not have my experiences at work to draw apon! I got a new laptop the other day, so that I can work at home and bring it into work to study on my breaks. It's cool and I'm having fun playing around! We also took advantage of WOW's offer of two years interest free and got a TV and speakers to replace the 15 or so year old dinosour takiong up residence in the lounge! The kids are in home cinema heaven!!

They are on holidays now, but the poor little boys have to go to school holiday program, as I have to work (albiet they are only going three days and I am staying home two)I feel for them. Tegan is coming to work with me, as I am running activities for teenagers, and Deb's daughter Meg will attend with Tegan. So, that makes keeping track of Tegan easy, and she enjoys coming to work with me, as there is a Youth Centre with computers, DVD player and Playstation for them, and couches to chill on.

We had a respite placement over the weekend, two little Afro-Cuban children. The little girl is 5 and the boy is 16months. They are soo cute, but when I dropped them home, there was a big drama, as the father (sperated from the mother) was there, and saw some mozzie bites on the little boy's face, and went off!! He was yelling at me and saying I am never to have his children again, and that I poisoned them (?!?!?)
I got pretty scared, and left, but was really shaken when I got home. The poor mother called me later to apologise, she didn't know he was going to turn up, and he has a mental illness and is really paranoid. Hope she sorts it out though, I let our agency know about it, so I guess they will inform DHS or whatever. The mother seems lovely, and the kids well cared for, she just seems very anxious and in need of a break, and if the father's like that, I can see why!!

Anywho, I think that about updates us dear blog, I'll be back soon!

Charli xo

..to make my day, is this gappy grin! Oh Bless!



Desperately seeking a way to make time stand still, just for a moment. My little boy is just growing up to fast! Mama loves you so, little possum. To the moon, through the stars around the planets and back again xoxox

We had a very full weekend!


On Friday evening after meeting Jackson's biological father 'B' at the local park for a play, Gerard met me there and we decided a fish'n'chips picnic in the park sounded just fine for dinner. While waiting for our dinner to cook, I got a phone call from foster care about an emergency placement for that evening. We agreed to have the child, 2y/o girl 'R' until Monday morning, when the case was to go to court, and the agency could find a more suitable placement for her in case she was in care for an extended period (likely).


So, I went off home to get organised for a two year old, while Gez took the kids to my mums to collect mushrooms after all the rain we've had! I had a friend lend me some clothes and put up the porta-cot, drag out the highchair, find the pram and fit the car-seat, as well and make sure that the house was safe for an inquisitive toddler.


I was expecting her at about 7-8pm, but when I didn't hear anything I called the agency to see what was happening. It ended up that she didn't arrive until 12.30pm, as the response workers decided to take her to the hospital for a check-up as she had a rather substantial injury which needed to be checked.  She arrived fast asleep, and transferred straight into her cot without needing to be washed or changed as the workers had bathed her at the hospital.


The next morning she woke up screaming, but soon settled and followed me around calling me "mummy". I took her the the market and when I got home at midday, found that workers had come to pick her up to see a forensic examiner back at the hospital. That afternoon I took her to get some suitable clothes and some shoes, which she was so excited about!! I'm thinking maybe she'd never worn any before, because those pretty pink sparkly canvas shoes caused a lot of trouble over the weekend. There were tantrums when they were left in the car, and tears when they had to come off for bed!!


That evening she developed a bit of a cough, and kept me awake ALL NIGHT. I didn't get a wink of sleep, and was still awake (in fact up, in the lounge with a hot Milo, reading a book) when the alarm went off at 4.30am for me to get up to go to Melbourne for the long awaited Run 4 the Kids event I entered into earlier this year. I decided after some deliberation, to go, but when I got there, I am sad to say that I piked :(
I walked the 5km event, a far cry from attempting to jog/walk the 15km one, but I was just so tired I felt sick.


On Sunday evening, when I got home I noticed that the cough had turned into a wheeze, and by 10pm decided to take R to the hospital. We were in there all night, going through the trauma of taking Ventolin and other asthma medication from the spacer every 20mins, and were admitted to the paediatric ward around 9am once the asthma had been stabilised.
 I took Monday off work, and stayed at the hospital (half an hour from home) until lunchtime, when I crashed and desperately needed to sleep. R stayed another night, and went to a new carer Tuesday afternoon.


I cannot tell you how drained I am at the moment. I just spent two days nurturing and expending love, time, affection and energy on a child I knew for a moment in time, and will never see again. I nurtured her like a child of my own womb, and then she was gone and life went back to 'normal'.


I'm beginning to wonder about my normal. Because although this was really hard and I mourned the 'loss' of this child after she left my care, it is beginning to feel familiar.  
Will life with just my husband and two kids, when we haven't got a FC placement, ever feel 'normal' again?


I really cant see that being the case. This IS our normal now.


Calls in the middle of the night, staying up to prepare for the arrival of a child who has been removed from their home, who may have been abused or neglected, who may have been separated from their siblings, who can find no comfort in their surroundings, who knows no-one in this new place, clothes that are not theirs, unfamiliar bed, toys...


Taking the time to make these children feel safe, to make attachments and show love and peace in our home feels familiar now. It is difficult, heartbreaking. It tests our relationships sometimes, but strengthens them often. We feel drained but also invigorated after they leave our care.


Sometimes we wonder if we could possibly go through it all again....until the phone rings

I'm writing this while waiting impatiently for DHS to drop over a sweet little poppet for an Emergency weekend placement. She's been beat up a bit I think, so they've had to take her to the hospital to be checked out by a paediatrician before they bring her here until Monday morning.

So...the recipe

I've never made home made gnocchi before, but it is one of my favourite things to order when out at a nice restaurant so I was pretty excited to be giving it a go.

Ingredients;
1.5kg pumpkin (I used Kent)
1 tsp salt
1tsp nutmeg
1tsp pepper
2.5 cups plain flour


600ml light cream
2tbsp vegetable stock powder
roasted capsicum (about 150g)
1 cup spinach leaves
200g pumpkin extra
Parmesan cheese to serve


The Gnocchi
First Icut up a 1.5kg piece of Kent pumpkin into about 5cm chunks, popped them into an oven dish, covered them and baked them for about an hour until they were soft all the way through.
I then let them cool, peeled away the skin and mashed the flesh into a large bowl.
I seasoned the mashed pumpkin with about a TSP of salt and about the same amount of pepper, and a little nutmeg. I sifted 2 1/4 cups of plain flour and gently folded it into the pumpkin to form a soft dough.
To moke the gnocchi, I rolled the dough into sausage shaped lengths about 2cm in diameter on a floured surface, and cut the logs into pieces about 1.5cm wide. Now they were ready to pop into a big pot of boiling water once the sauce is almost cooked.


The sauce;
I gently fried up some onion (wanted leek but couldn't get any at the supermarket last time I shopped) in the frypan, along with about 200g pumpkin cut into 2cm cubes. Once softened, I added 600ml light cream and 1 2tbsp vegetable stock powder and simmered gently until pumpkin was cooked. Then I added about half a jar of drained, sliced roast capsicum (you could definitely make your own, but I cheated!)


Popped the gnocchi into the boiling water and cooked until it started to float to the top. Drained gnocchi, added 1 cup baby spinach leaves to the sauce and seasoned with pepper. Served with parmesan cheese on top.

This meal was sooo yummy! It was a bit extra effort to make all the gnocchi by hand, but absolutely worth the effort, I don't think I'll be able to eat the store brought stuff now lol! My kids and hubby loved this meal, as it was filling and very tasty. I am going to try it with some sun dried tomatoes in lieu of the capsicum one day!

The old 'me' (when I was a SAHM);

- cooked every evening, EVERY EVENING...and loved it!
- ironed everything (and I mean everything. If it was made from material, it was ironed!)
- Read books, often
- kept my house clean always
- had friends for tea and cake playdates regularly
- visited the library
- read to my children every night
- went to the gym often

The 'me' that works every day;

- lets the husband cook, often
- gets take out, more than before
- Irons the essentials only
- keeps a clean house, occasionally
- reads sometimes
-visits the library rarely
- has playdates never
- reads to my children when they remind me

TIME FOR A CHANGE!!!!

SO, here's the deal;


I have always loved to cook, and I happen to have a bit of a knack for recreating dishes I find and love when I go out for a meal. I have decided that although I still need to delegate evening meals to Gez several nights each week, I am going to make particular effort to create new and yummy meals for my family on the evenings I finish work early (Wednesdays and Fridays). It also helps that at the moment I seem to be going through a bit of a meat-free stage, and even the thought of meat (even chicken and fish) makes me feel a bit squeamish, so I am having to look a little harder to find vegetarian meals my family will all enjoy, and not whinge about the lack of meat.
I started last night, and made the most delicious roast pumpkin gnocchi from scratch, and teamed it up with a creamy sauce with roasted capsicum, pumpkin and baby spinach sauce. It was delicious!

The other thing I've decided to do is read more. Both for myself and the children. I have started over the past few weeks buying some chapter books for the kids and reading Rould Dahl stories to the boys before bed. They LOVE these books, as they are really cute and fun to read, but full of childish imagination and nonsense which the kids think is hilarious! I have also been reading more, revisiting some old favourites and encouraging Gerard to read a little as well. Tegan is a HUGE reader, so I don't need to encourage her, she practically lives at the library and spends hours reading on the couch or in her bedroom, which is great!


I am going to try and make it to the gym, or at least a walk or jog at least three times each week. I love the KIMAX boxing class and POWER weights class at our local Gym, and they are offering a half price pass (20 sessions for $120) for those who took the outdoor fitness program I participated in over Jan-Feb. Since October last year I have lost around 6kg and many cm’s and I hope to continue keeping active and healthy.


I plan to get to know some more school mums. I have stuck to the same couple of mothers who’s children have gone through Kinder and school with Jackson, and who also have children Riley’s age. It’s been easy to stick with the same group than making new friens now that I’m working every day, but I think it’s time to expand and get to know some more of my boys friend’s parents.
My plan of attack is to corner them approach some of the parents on the mornings and afternopons when I do the drop off/pick ups and have some after school playdates/afternoon teas.

To keep me honest, I'm going to try and post recipes for some of the new meals I make each week, and also attempt to post on a new book each month. Keep in mind that I'm not a wonderful 'recipe follower', so many of my creations are exactly that, creations and my recipe's will reflect that to some degree with approximate measurements. (Gnocchi recipe to come)

I'm NOT however, going to iron everything!! OK?

So, we survived! 9 days, two parents, a five, seven and fourteen-year-old and one tiny rented car.

It was gorgeous, I especially liked the rain (the kids and man-child especially despised the rain which prevented numerous returns to theme parks).

Here's a shortlist of my highlights;

1. The rain! Loved waking to the sound of light, soaking rain, you just DO NOT get that here in country Victoria (edited to add: hmm, at least you never USED to get that kind of rain here, however recent events may be proving me wrong, as I sit here typing with a light soaking rain visible outside my window)
2. Eating out - we found some lovely places that offer affordable yummy meals during the week
3. Seeing the kids faces when they entered the Theme Parks - Pure disbelief!
4. Discovering that Ry is a hardcore thrill-seeker like his mama
5. Watching the man-child ride the Superman Escape roller coaster at Movie World - his first ever roller coaster!
6. MAX BRENNERS - What more is there to say?
7. Seeing our three kids loving each other, every day. Wonderment at how close they all are and how Tegan has blended in so seamlessly after only 9 months in our family.
8. Time together

Having some trouble uploading pics, hence, this post has been in draft form for a couple days. Will add pics shortly :)