Oh wow, I keep promising not to neglect my poor little blog, but somehow life just keeps getting in the way and before I know it, a month has whizzed by!!
Been flat out. Work was crazy before Christmas, but we had a lovely time on the peninsula for a few days in mid December. The weather was really crappy so the kids didn't get to do much beaching, but it was nice and relaxing to be away together anyway.

Christmas was good, we went to my parents for lunch, and Gerard's for Tea. Lunch was lovely, Tea was awful...and I'm not talking about the food...entirely.

The kids were spoilt...well Tegan was anyhow! She got a new bed, doona cover, converse shoes and clothes. The boys got some lego and woodworx kits, and a slip'n'slide for the back yard, which has been a total hit considering we have been on water restrictions since they were babies, so they don't even know about sprinklers!

My birthday was on Sunday, and I got very spoiled. Gez got me a Pandora charm bracelet with two charms, and my brother and sister got me a charm each too! I love it, and chose gold and silver. I mostly wear gold, but the gold charms and bracelet cost a mint, so we went for cold and silver mixed. My mum brought me a gorgeous heart pendant which is also gold and silver with a diamond. I felt so spoilt!!!We went to Beechworth which is my favorite place to visit for lunch and a wander about, and then came home for a BBQ with friends.

We have another extra at the moment, he's 19 months, and with us for a week on respite. He's awfully cute, and has attached himself to my leg almost 24/7!! Looking forward to catching up with our friends Charmaine and Leigh tonight for New Years.

My time is almost up! I go back to work tomorrow with a little trepidation. My reluctance stemming from wanting to be home nurturing my kids and husband.

If I could possibly afford to stay home, I would in a heartbeat. My baby is off to school next year :( He's been going to transition days at school the past few weeks, and thoroughly enjoying his time in the prep class. Despite our worries about his age (Ry won't turn 5 until Feb 23) he seems completely at ease, and all of our teachers are confident that he's ready and will be fine at school. I am also feeling confident, but also doubting myself a little.

Have I done the wrong thing working full time over the past two years?Would I be best to be home in his first year of school?
Hmm, I guess we make these decisions because they seem the best choice at the time, and there's nothing I can do to go back and change it, but I do wonder what to do from here, and whether my choice will be one I regret later?

I've had a lovely two weeks off, and have achieved many of the things I set out to do while at home.
Over the past two weeks I've;

• spent time at Kinder with Riley
• cooked yummy meals for my family (Gez does a lot of the cooking when I'm working)
• had the kids dental work done,
  
• drank wine, went out for dinner and had quality time with my husband
• had the dreaded meeting with 'B' (will update later)
• Had a 'girls day' or two with Tegan (clothes shopping and to see New Moon)
• read The DaVinci Code (finally), Angels and Demons and am partway through The Lost Symbol
  
• brought Christmas presents for the kids (don't even ask, it was nightmarish!)
  
• caught up with friends.

I also;







We are completely flat out until Christmas now, which will be spent at our house, with my parents, brother, sister and grandmother for lunch, before heading off to Gerard's parents farm for the last Christmas there before the move into town next year.

Next weekend we have M for respite again, and the following we're off to the Mornington Peninsula for a short beach break with my parents and siblings from Wednesday to Sunday. I'm looking forward to another little break, and then I have time off between Christmas and new years, before a long haul of School holiday activities at work for the last three weeks in January.
The guilt thing hits then, as the kids will spend most of their holidays either in daycare (school has a holiday program) or with their grandparents.

I know they will be fine, and take it all in their strides....they have before. And I know that my working allows us to take holidays with them and have nice things, but sometimes it seems a little ironic, that when I'm at work, I'm saving my annual leave and money to spend time with my kids, while I could be staying home, and spending time with them.

If I'm honest, I also know that working keeps another part of me content, the part that craves to use my brain, to make a difference somewhere other than within my home, and to spend time surrounded by learned adults. So, it's really not all about the money, but still, I struggle with the balance .

Do you struggle with these dilemmas? What do you choose? Work, Family, a mix of both?
How do you justify the decisions? Do you worry you might regret them?


Charli xo

I have two weeks off work. I really need it too. I finally went to the doctors after procrastinating for a few weeks (months) and she gave me some sick leave.
This stuff with 'B' has me on edge, and worrying about Gerard and Jackson's reaction to it all has made me forget about myself, so I've been shoving the feeling back inside, and of course that is making me run down. It doesn't help that my periods are coming way too often (every 20 days grrr) and are heavy.

Anyhow, I've made myself forget about work as much as I can, and focus on ME for a change, and hopefully being more relaxed, I won't be so horrid to everyone else. I so wish I could afford to have six or twelve months off, but it is just out of the question with three kids and thier sport, music etc.

I have a new baby cousin. Mum's sister had her last week, a girl after three boys! How lucky, she's going to be so treasured. Her name is Imogen Rose, which is a name I LOVE and in fact, a name Gerard and I had shortlisted if Riley had been a girl. We're going to see them in early December, which will be lovely.

Gerard is working tonight, and I have had two extra kids, so I'm totally exhausted (Gez didn't leave till after the kids were in bed thank goodness!!) Up early in the morning to get the kids off to school, and heading out of town with a girlfriend to go shopping between kinder hours :)

B see's Jack on Monday, feeling apprehensive and unsure how to go about it all, but just one step at a time until we work out something that fits for Jackson.

Must sleep now,

Charli xox

I got this from Melissa. It's tricky, the aim is to answer the questions with one word..which I probably can't do either :P

1.Where is your mobile phone? Handbag

2.Your hair? Icky

3.Your mother? Sweet

4.Your father? Busy

5.Your favorite food? Indian

6.Your dream last night? Ummm?

7.Your favorite drink? Kahlua

8.Your dream/goal? Raising good kids

9.What room are you in? Lounge

10.Your hobby? Fostercare?

11.Your fear? Losing Gerard or my children

12.Where do you want to be in 6 years? Paris

13.Where were you last night? Spa!

14.Something that you aren’t? Outgoing

15.Muffins? Cupcakes :)

16.Wish list item? 4bedroom house

17.Where did you grow up? Farm

18.Last thing you did? Visit Grandparents

19.What are you wearing? Havianas

20.Your TV? Old

21.Your pets? Cute

22.Friends? Reliable

23.Your life? Busy :S

24.Your mood? hmmm...

25.Missing someone? yes

26.Vehicle? Captiva

27.Something you’re not wearing? socks

28.Your favourite store? Myer

29.Your favorite colour? Green

29.When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday

30.Last time you cried? Ummmm????

31.Your best friend? Marissa

32.One place that you go to over and over? Mums

33.One person who emails me regularly? Work :(

34.Favourite place to eat? Home



Charli xox

Sunny Queensland here we come!

I booked flights on Saturday, after forfeiting the overseas idea for another year (too difficult to get Tegan a passport) and we fly on the 22nd Feb 2010!!
The kids are soooo excited, and have been researching together all the fun things to do near Surfers Paradise. Of course we will visit some theme parks, but I also plan to take a day cruise, snorkel somewhere and visit Brisbane. I am looking forward to booking our accomodation etc over the next month or so, and making plans!

We had a care team meeting re. Tegan on Friday evening, and the general idea is that the DHS will try to get a Guardianship Order at court in December. This means that Tegan will be in the custody on the DHS until she is 18 years of age and that her mother has no rights in any decisions made about/for Tegan. It also means that if we want to, Gerard and I can apply to the Magistrate for Permanant Care of her, meaning that the legal rights are transferred from DHS to us regarding Tegan. (basically we would have similar rights of any parents/adoptive parents)
It's a big decision to make, and one that Tegan will have a very influential say in, but I think it will probably be the direction we go.
She's just part of the family now, and the thing she needs most is stability. I think that will make a big difference to her next four years until she's 18.

Jackson's party was great, I will post some photos soon!
He's been emailing with *B* over the fast fortnight, and will meet him at the end of Nov. We're all struggling a little/lot with this, so Gerard, Jackson and I went to see a Family Therapist last week to help us with some strategies of coping with such a big change, and also how to cope with the HUGE tantrums Jackson is throwing at the moment. They're breaking my heart. The poor little thing is just getting so angry at trivial things, and he just doesn't know how to cope with it all. Hopefully this will help!

I'm at work ATM, so better get back into it, back with some party photos soon!

It's Jackson's birthday next Monday, and he's having a party the day before.

I had decided to just have a couple of friends for a sleepover, but in the last couple of weeks have been feeling a little nostalgic, and realized with a shock that my little boy is beginning to get to the tail end of 'kiddy' birthday parties.

I mean, he's turning 7 next week, and I just don't think he's going to be satisfied with the cutesy little matching tableware, invitations and party bags his Mama swoons over, for too much longer. It will only be a matter of time before it changes from cute space parties, to ferocious, sword wielding Pirate parties, and then onto video game marathons etc.

Oh dear, my baby is growing up.

So, I decided that this may be my last chance to throw him a kiddy party, and by golly I'm gonna make the most of it!
I ordered these party coordinates, he's having this cake, and guests will partake in all sorts of space themed games and activities. The party bags are filled with these, these and these, amongst other little spacey trinkets, a mini Mars Bar and Milky Way!

I think I'm a little more excited than he is....but only just!



Love Charli xo

Gez got paid by Mum and Dad for some extra work he did on the farm while they were on holiday. He got paid in two installments, and the first basically went toward my race day outing, and groceries etc.
So, when he got the second 'installment' he decided to buy himself a Nintendo Wii. Now, I have to say that I was completely unimpressed by the idea, and tried to talk him out of it. We never had computer/tv games as children (and we survived) , thus I have never felt any urge to encourage them for our kids, in fact I have made a point of avoiding them.

HOWEVER.....Darling husband wanted a new toy, and because he worked extra for the weeks my parents were away, I felt powerless to stop him treating himself.

Well, I haven't posted pics in ages, so here's a couple, as promised....

These are of me and a couple of friends at the races yesterday. I felt kind of strange wearing a dress cos I don't often, but after a few champagnes, I kinda forgot about it lol!

We also have some new little members of the family...11 chickens!!!
We brought them at the Poultry Auction last weekend, so that we can have some chooks in the backyard. The kids love them, and the little black ones have been inside all week in the warm with a heat lamp, but tonight graduated to the outside coop with their bigger brown friends.Aren't they cute!

I've been doing Weight Watchers with Stacey (in the blue above) cos I've put on a fair bit of weight since starting full time work, and mostly because I aquired some terrible eating habits. I would skip brekky, eat white toast with butter and vegemite/jam at 11ish, a pie or soup with bread for lunch and a huge helping of dinner, and I'd snack inbetween as well.
So, I've been doing it for about 6 weeks now, and have lost 4kg, so I'm almost there, I have 4kg to go to get to 55kg, which is right in the middle of the healthy weight range for my height (i'm short as lol!) I'll be happy there, as it has always been my average weight, but just crept up over the past year or so.

I called to get Jack's results today, but they're not in yet, so tomorrow.....

I went to the races with a friend yesterday, for the second time ever. We got all dolled up (soooo not me lol) and had a great day! I took my sister and Tegan out for dinner last night, because I had to make up for getting my sister kicked out of the races.

No, I wasn't drunk and disorderly, simply thoughtless, and handed her my drink for a tic wehile I grabbed money out of my purse to put a bet on. Well, they swooped her, and made her leave for 'being in possession of alcohol underage' WTF??? Anyway, I felt a bit silly, but seriously, she was with me, and two thirty something year olds for goodness sake.

Anyhow, I was feeling just slightly 'blegh' at about 3am when Ry come into our bed as usual (we end up with both boys by 5am, and we all co-sleep till 7ish) but luckily felt fine for work this morning lol!

Poor Jackson has been really unwell lately. He's been badly constipated, so terrible stomach pains, and has had to have an xray and TWO blood tests - poor baby :( Oh well, he survived, buit just waiting back on some results for coeliac and an iron thingy that the Dr wanted to investigate as they came back on the first blood test as unusual.

Guess what...I'm gonna be a Matron of Honour!!!

My bestest friend (and also my maid of honour 3 years ago) has just gotten engaged. I'm sooo excited for her, as it was a huge surprise for her, becoause her fiancee has always been quite anti-marriage.
So the big day won't be for a couple of years, but even so, I'm very excited to have been asked (albeit during a rather drunken phone conversation-on my part :P) to be her matron of honour.
I love weddings, and this one, while small will be very special for us, as 'Aunty Marissa) has been part of my life for 10 years, and has always been there for me and the kids, who absolutely adore her. She even goes to so much effort to include our Foster children, bringing them gifts when she sees us all, and making an effort to get to know them. She's a one in a million friend and I'm so lucky to have her!!

Ok, well I better go, but will be back when I hear back about jackka's test results, and I'll post some pics of me at the races, and our 11 new family members lol!!

It went ok, I guess.

I lost two kilos last week, so at least one good thing has come from all this...

Anyhow, B came on Saturday, and we actually talked about some stuff from before Jackson, and got some stuff straightened out in our heads about the way things 'went down' all those years ago. In some ways that was a good thing, and in other ways, I just wish it could have never happened on Saturday at all.

He actually wants to make a go of this, which is a good thing for Jackson it really is. B is a nice guy, and Jacka needs to know where he comes from, I know that's important.
I think it will be ok for them, and that this is good timing in some ways, because although Jack knows Brent left us before he was born, he's not yet become bitter about it, or questioned his motives now, which may have happened had B waited a couple more years.

They are alike in a lot of ways, so I think they'll get along just fine, and B says his girlfriend is very supportive, which is another positive.
My family are all optimistic and relieved, but still worried about the possibility of increasing access over the years, which is basically inevitable I think. It all looks very positive I guess, considering seven years without contact.

The problem here, is me.

I'm really struggling.

I never thought it could hit me so hard what I lost when B left me, 17, pregnant and head over heels in love. I thought I was over it seven years later, and that whatever crap he threw at me would miss it's mark.

Except it didn't.

He said all the things I imagined he'd never say, all the magic words that would have made the situation so different...had he said them 6 years ago or so.

and.it.hurts.so.bad

knowing that I will never have that again, which was stolen from me. That chance. That life. That love.

I will get past this, and things will be ok, but a piece of me feels like it's broken, where before, it was just a little cracked.

It went ok , he said he'd sign the paperwork.

He wants to see Jackson....after seven F*%#ing years.

I'm scared for Jackson's heart

I'm scared for my heart...again

I'm scared for my family

I'm scared for Gez

I know this has to play out now, but I'm so afraid of the future...it's so uncertain now.
He's coming to talk properly tomorrow, so I can find out what he actually wants from this.

I spoke a few months ago (here) about Jackson's biological father 'B' and the dilemma I was struggling with as to whether or not to make contact with him. (he's only seen Jackson once, when he was about 12mths old) and at the time, conceded that it was all just too complicated and it would be better to leave things lie.

BUT...after Jackson recently asked to share Gerard's surname (which Riley also bestows) and us wishing to travel overseas in the next 12mths or so, I decided there was really no other option but to contact him to sign the neccesary paperwork.

Sooooo, after trying to ignore the peice of paper with his contact number on it for several (and I mean several) weeks, I finally gave in and called today.
I was shaking so much I'm surprised if he didn't hear my teeth chattering, but it went ok, and he's coming over tomorrow to collect the papers and have them signed.

I'm worried a little, cos I really DID NOT expect him to say he'd meet me face to face, I thought that after 7 years he'd just get me to post it and leave it at that. I'm trying not to analyse, cos I really don't know him anymore, but It really floored me. I'm soooo nervous.
Gez is so wonderful and supportive, I don't know what i'd do without him, he treats Jack like his own, but still supports me when it comes to 'B'.

Wish me luck for tomorrow!

My goodness, things have just been crazy in our household over the past few weeks! So crazy that I have hardly had time to do anthing other than clean, work, mother and sleep. It's been ages since I posted last, and I swear I'm going to try harder...promise!!

Jack's neck ended up being ok, there's still a lump, but the ultasound didn't show it as anthing to be concerned about thank god! I have had some other issues with him though, which have been keeping me busy, so not all clear yet.

My parents have been away for a month now, so my sister is staying with us untill they return, and let me tell you, that kid is a handfull! Spoilt rotten is the problem I think, being the baby of the family (there's 8 years between her and I, and six years between my brother and rachel) We've had some big arguments, mostly about her leaving mess about my house and a few other little things. On top of that, I had to take a week off work last week to look after her and Jackson. Rachel broke her wrist snowboarding, and then came out in a massive rash from an allergic reaction to something, and Jackson got a HUGE dose of gastro virus, poor little man :( It was awful!! My next Jack problem is that I think his hearing has gotten bad again. I have an appointment with the audiologist next month, so will see how it goes, but the same pattern of behaviour is starting to rear it's ugly head...grrr, this shouldn't be happening, he's already had two sets of grommets. I'm not even sure what happens next if his hearing is low.

Oh, and some good news...

WE GOT A NEW CAR!! it's the best thing ever and i'm totally loving having seven seats! It's a Holden Captiva LX, Deisel, brand new and looks a little something like this!!
We've been talking new car for ages now, but after Gez hit a car who went through a give way sign, his car was written off, so we actually had to get another car anyway. Well, I'm glad now, cos my new car is lovely, and I can actually fit everyone in comfortably now, without Tegan having to be squished between two booster seats.

Speaking of Tegan, all is going pretty well with her. She challenges Gez and I quite a lot, but is just a gorgeous kid, so we're enjoying learning with her. She's off to the Catholic school next year, and whilst she's a bit upset about leaving her current school, we really think it is the best thing, as some of her friends are not good influences. We had to pull a lot of strings to get the department to let her go to private school, and to get the school to agree on a scholarship to help with the fees, so there's definately no turning back now. i hope we've made the right decision.
Her mother cas called three times in the past 15 weeks since Tegan has been with us. Yesterday she called accusing Tegan of wagging school and other crazy things, to which Tegan hung up the phone, which seems to be the general trend with all communications between them. It's really hard on the poor kid, and I am glad that when the court case comes around in December Tegan will have a chioce about whether she stays out of home or not, but I suspect that there will be little chance of the prospect of her going home even being on the table. Anyhow, what happens will happen, and in the meantime, the boys adore her, and she makes such a effort to belong, so we're ok with whatever happens.

We booked a few days away in December after the court case, off to Dromana on the Mornington Peninsula. It will be lovely to have a break together, and my aunty is having all her four children baptised that weekend. My parents, sister, brother and his girlfriend are all coming too, as mum wanted a family holiday before rachel and Geaff go away. Both are going overseas, Rachel for a whole year to Sweeden on a Rotary Exchange, and Geaff is travelling around Malaysia, Phillipines, England and South America for 5 months, before moving to Perth to study Pharmacy in June next year.
I'm feeling very left out of the whole overseas travel thing, so have been negotiating with Gez on a trip to fiji or bali with the kids next year ;)

Well, I'm doing this from work, and my lunch break is up, so I'd better get back into it!

talk soon (for real this time lol!)

Charli xox

Jacka has a lump on his neck. We've known about it for about 6 weeks now (well, my Mum knew then, but thought it was just a little infection and didn't worry about mentioning it to us) and it came up sore again last week. It's not sore now, but still there, so the Dr has recommended an ultrasound to see why the lymph node is so enlarged.

I'm nervous...like really, really, really nervous. I'm awfully afraid of what they are going to find.

I'm not usually like this. I take things in my stride, and I dont tend to over think things.
It's most likely nothing at all, but i won't feel any less jittery until I know for sure.

The theme I chose for the boys room recently :)

I was getting a bit down a little while ago, as money seemed always to be tight, and we just couldn't part with the cash to do some of the bigger reno jobs we wanted to, so I decided to re-decorate the boys room, a little at a time over a few weeks.

I had a whole lot to choose from, but in the end, decided on the space theme, and then had a whole lot of fun decorating it. I've never really been a big fan of themed rooms, however I needed a little project, and am really pleased with the result, and best of all, the boys love it!
I chose these cool quilt covers from Adairs Kids for the bunk beds ;and decorated the beds with some space theme cushions I found in various stores. I also got a great star rug from Fantastic Furniture. I already had a painted canvas which I did myself a while ago, and picked up some cool 'space' bean bags for the kids to sit in when they play their V-smile.

We also painted the far wall a great dark blue, and decorated it with space themed 'Wallies'

Here is the end result;

Oh my goodness, It has been a whole month since I posted! I can't believe how fast the months are going, and let me tell you, this one has been unbelievably crazy and full on!!!

I think I'll summarise our activities first, and elaborate over the next few days.

In no particular order, these are some of the things that have been happening in our family in the past four weeks since I posted;

1. We have had our little holiday to Tassie and loved it!!
2. Gerard's mother has had major heart surgery and is recovering.
3. We've almost all had the flu.
4. My new manager at work has returned after her lung cancer operation
5. We've enrolled Tegan into a new school for next year
6. Gerard has re-plastered and painted the hallway and lounge
7. We painted the boys feature wall (Photo to come!)
8. We decided to buy a new car
9. We've had 'M' for a couple of respite weekends
10. I went to the P!NK concert

Needless to say, It has just been a mad house around here lately, and on top of all that, my parents have just left on holiday for 6 weeks and my little sister is staying with us. That means our little old house has two people squished into each room!! It will be crazy, but fun! I might not have the same perspective in six weeks though lol!

I'll try to be back shortly with some more photos, but for now I need to clean the house and pack our stuff away after a weekend in Bright and at the snow.

Charli xox

I can't believe I forgot to post about the Lily concert! I went to see Lily Allen in June with two girls from work, and we had the most awesome night!! I was a little apprehensive about socializing with colleagues...not so much going out with them, but that we were staying together in a motel, so basically spending 24hrs together..I dunno, I just worried it would go badly or something.

Anyhow, I needn't have worried, as we got along great, and just had a fantastic, fun, chilled out night. Lily was AMAZING. Really awesome. Her concert was held at the Forum Theatre on Flinders Street, which was a gorgeous venue to start with, and Lily herself was really relaxed and not at all showy, which I loved.
Instead of sitting around like the bigger concerts @ Rod Laver etc, we were all seated at booths where we could have drinks, or stand in front of the stage. We chose the booths, so we weren't so close, but comfortable.

Afterwards we went to crown just to chill in some of the great bars, and tried some fancy cocktails :)

Anyhow, it was great fun, and i have a couple of goodies to look forward to. Belinda and I are going to P!NK for her Birthday in August , now I'm really not a Pink fan, But B really wanted to go, and I heard that the show is pretty good, so I think that it will be OK.
Also, I was lucky enough to secure AC/DC tix, so we're off to Rod Laver to see them with my parents in Feb next year!!

"In the 'Ocean of Waves', Bambi sat in the woods nibbling grass.
Then he saw a big bad wolf. Then they set off to the 'Forest of Creatures' and sat in the woods to hunt the creatures.
Then the Ocean of waves splashed at Bambi so Bambi set off to the woods again, but all that was there was the Big Bad Wolf, who went to his house and cooked Bambi for dinner"


Word for word, as fast as Gez could write!

From the mouths of babes!

Love Charli xox

I never actually left, it's just been a madhouse here lately, and every time I think about posting, I simultaneously think of several other things that really-need-to-be-done-right-now.

We have had a really huge couple of weeks, and the best way to catch up is probably to do a little update on everyone..smallest to biggest :)

Riley 'Ratbag' - My baby is just soooo cute at the moment! He's the cheekiest little monkey you ever met, and he's got me wrapped around his little finger at the moment, I just cant get cross with him, no matter how naughty he is! He's learning to write at the moment, and he writes his whole name, ending with 'Ratbag' lol! He probably thinks that's part of his name :) This morning he was sitting at the table, and he says "mama, how do you write Ratbag?" So i told him, and he tacks it onto the end of his name lol!
He's got such an amazing imagination at the moment, and has been telling these crazy stories lately, which Gez transcribes as fast as he can! I will post one soon, so I don't forget, cos they are just the sweetest thing, and not something Jack ever did. It's school holidays now, so there's no Kinda, and Ry is spending some extra time at Gerards parents, and will have a vist with mine next week, so he's in his element!!

Jackson - Jackka got his report last week, and I am sooo proud of my big boy!! He is just flying through this year, and some of the problems he had at the beginning of the year have improved 100%, so i'm just bursting proud at the moment. He's been a little difficult at home though, and I have to work very hard to be patient and not snap at him. He had a couple of days with my mum and dad on the farm this week, and today we had friends over, Andrea has three girls, and one is in Jack's class, and another goes to kinder with Ry, so they really enjoyed that social time, we dont do it much with me working now.

Tegan - I could fill up the whole screen with this girl at the moment. Gez and I are on a very steep learning curve in many ways, but were tested last week when Tegan came home from school and told me that she had been caught shoplifting. It took a lot of thought and discussion to decide the best way to approach the issue with her, and in the end we decided to come down very firmly, but not hard, as she has so much on her plate at the moment. We had a huge talk about stealing, trust, peer pressure etc, and had her write a letter apologising to the store manager. We took it there the next day, and she apologised in person. He was great, but now we've got to take her to the the police station, as the incident was reported, so they have to caution her.
We felt pretty awful for her, cos we know that she is a good kid, and she was so scared that we would make her leave. I really thing she's learnt a big lesson, and it might not have been a bad thing to have happened, as it taught her a few things, like consequences for actions, taking responsibility for your mistakes and that in our home, if she is respectful, she will be respected, and that we understand that everyuone makes mistakes, and everyone deserves chances to make amends and be better.
I took her to the snow with me, on a work camp I was running this week. She had an absolute ball, and I'm so glad I took her with me, as she has really started to show signs of feeling at home here with us already, thanks to some quality time. It's a bit rocky for the next week or so though, as she hasn't seen or spoken to her Mum for a month or more, but we will both see her next week at a Best Interest Plan meeting with DHS and other parties. I can tell she's very scared.

Gez - Poor Gez has been so busy! on top of working full time and helping me with the house, cooking and kids, hes also been re-plastering our hallway. It looks lovely now, all fresh and cream, instead of a cacky yellow! He's loving spending tme with Tegan, downloading her songs and teaching her mechanical stuff to help her with the Auto elective she got put in a school. he had a day just with the boys on aturday, which was really good for all of them.

Me - I'm ok, i'm really enjoying having three to enjoy, and have really been loving reading and knitting with Tegan (she got given some cook wool and big needles to make a scarf) and spending time cooking with the boys today on my day off work. I am feeling a little like i'm starting to split at the seams though, so I'm going to have to watch that I take some extra time for myself this month. My mamager at work had her last day today, and I organised a send-off for her last Friday, which was lovely. I cant sleep tonight though, as even though things are supposed to just run 'as usual' tomorrow feels momentous and very daunting, and I'm running all the things through my head that I forgot to ask my manager!

That's going to have to do for now, I'll post Ry's little stories next, along with some recent photos!


Love always,

Charli xox

T has been with us for three nights now, and so far everything is going fairly smoothly. She's a gorgeous kid, and she's fitting into our family nicely. We're in the 'honeymoon stage' at the moment, but it will be interesting to see how she goes when school starts, when she see's her previous carer tomorrow, and when she next speaks to her mother. I'm sure things will beging to get a bit rocky with all these stressors, but we will ride it out.

T's background is pretty heartbreaking. There is drugs and d.v at home, and she gave herself in to police for foster care. She is very literate, and LOVES to read. I think the library will become a regular outing for us :) Today she met my mum, and my sister came over to meet her too, which went well.

I had brunch with Stace today, which was a welcome break from having a needy teenager at my heels lol! We found a little desk for T in Stace's shed, so that T can do her homework in her room without the boys distracting her. I'm doing ok, trying to be ultra organised, knowing that i'm in for a shock when trying to keep house, care for three kids and work on top of that! I got Gez to buy me a new dryer the other day, as the onld one packed it in last week. I wasn't going to replace it so soon, but i decided that I would be crazy to try and dry clothes and towels for five people, on our little clothes airer!

Stace and I did some baking today, so now I have hedgehog slice, lemon tea cake and banana cake all frozen in portions for the kids lunchtime snacks. I organised a lady to come and help me clean my house for a couple of hours a week, but she called this morning to say she's got other work. so i'm back to looking for someone :(

My boys, well they are just amazing! I am soo sooooo sooooooo proud of them. Kids are just so resilient, but mine are just incredible! They have welcomed T like she was meant to be here.
I think they will be exhausted by the end of the week, being a whole new experience, but even so they are just the most amazing little boys ever, for the way they are so sensitive to the situation, welcome T so warmly, and adapt so smoothly. I love them so much!!

Gez has been doing work on our house, re-plastering the walls in the hallway. I was really upset with him today when Stace was here. He just looks at me like I'm an idiot sometimes when my friends are here, and for no reason at all. Grrr!! Men are awful sometimes hey?
Anyhow, I must get to bed, work tomorrow and all :(

Love Charli xox

After much anticipation, nervousness and loads of excitement from the kids, we met our new 'resident' last night. May I just say..she is totally gorgeous!! We're stoked. T is sweet and easygoing, she loves to read and play board games, and she enjoys outdoors activities. I am going to speak with her school today (she's been in care for a couple of months now, and enrolled in the local secondary school) to introduce ourselves, see how she's tracking, and to determine the need for tutoring if she's struggling in any areas.

The boys were soooo excited yesterday. I knew that Jackson would be, but I was really surprised at Riley's reaction. Ry has always just taken it all in his stride, and has often come across fairly nonplussed about kids in our care. His strongest reaction to this point as been some jealousy, which we've dealt with by giving him lots of reassurance and time with us one on one, and he's been fine. This time however, he's really excited, and told his teachers at kinder yesterday that he was getting a 'new sister'. You can imagine the confusion that caused when Gez went in at lunch to pay the fees lol!!
When T arrived with her carer for the past couple of months, the boys each reacted quite differently to how I had expected, with Ry being very outgoing, and wanting to show T aroung the house etc, wheras Jackson was very shy to begin with, and it took a little while for him to get comfortable.

Gerard and I are feeling much more comfortable now, although there is a whole host of new issues and ideas that we are ging to be dealing with in parenting a teenager (pocket money, mobile phones, sleepovers etc), which is a little daunting!

The placement begins on Saturday, as I am going to Melbourne today to see my BF and the boys Godmother Marissa, who's back from WA for a few days. All in all we're feeling a lot more comfortable, and although we know that this is not necessarily going to be a smooth journey, we feel like it's off to a good start, and are truly looking forward to the challenges and journey ahead.

Talk soon,
Charli xox

I'm not talking about the rain though :p

Nope, it's about foster care. Yup, we're back in the game, and to be honest, i'm a little concerned about our mental state with regards to this one.

See, the girl we're fostering, for quite a period of time if all goes smoothly...is 14 years old.

Holy Crap!!!!

See what I mean about our state of mind? We're truly crazy!

Anyhow, despite our lack of rational thought, Gez and I both agreed to give this placement a go, feeling that we may have the opportunity to make a huge difference in this young girl's life.

So, right at this very moment, Gez is painting the spare room purple (told you we're crazy) cos it was an icky pale blue before, so it's looking very cool and bright now.

'T' comes Saturday, but we meet her tomorrow night. The boys are super excited, and Jack can't wait to play Battleships with her lol! I'll be interested to see how she goes with the boys, and of course we'll be keeping a very close eye on how they are coping with the whole situation.

Been flat out, but will try post again ery soon. For now, it's bedtime!!

Things are a bit sucky at the moment ( pardon the dreadful English).

Last week, my friend Michelle's best friend lost her son in a tragic accident on the family farm.
J was six years old, in the same year at school as Jackson (different school in the same town). It has really hit our town hard, as the family are well known, and the two boys played Auskick. It's just tragic, and my friend Michelle has called me several times for a shoulder to cry on. I offered to go to the funeral, but was glad when Michelle's hubby could take time off work, as I felt like it would have been a bit to much for me at the moment, considering.

I mentioned recently about my Manager leaving(...or you know, being forced to leave) and my getting a new line supervisor. It has been very unsettled for the past couple of months, and today Annie (the new one) dropped a bombshell. She's got lung cancer.

I'm a little distraught to be honest. I really like Annie, and I hate the thought of what she's going through at the moment, especially after a recent split with her abusive partner. Her only son lives on the other side of the country, and I don't think there is any other family.

On top of my feelings for Annie, are my worries about work. I felt unsettled before, with the thought of getting a new supervisor who doesn't know how things work, but now she won't be there much at all with all the traetments she must endure in order to live. I don't know who will take her place while she is away, and I'm stressing a bit.

Things are ok at home. Poor Ry has been pretty sick with asthma and croup, so we haven't had much sleep over the weekend. Gez was wonderful, and stayed up with him most of Saturday night, as I was exhausted and had a stomach ache as well. Love that man!
I am fighting a bit of a battle myself with my health..nothing serious, just something I need to work on that's going to take a LOT of effort on my part, so that's a big challenge ahead.

Would you believe I have some nice news after all that??
Well, I do :)

I have mentioned that Jacka is in a bi-lingual class at his school, meaning that he has a specialist Indonesian teacher, and the class learns the language for each subject, not just a one hour block per week like the rest of the grade 1 classes (there is one bi-lingual grade per year level)
Anyhow, Jackson has been really enjoying learning indonesian, and was entered by his teacher into a statewide competition last week. He did really well, and I got a letter home to say that he was a finalist in our region, and now goes on to compete at state level in Melbourne next weekend!! So, Jackson and I head down on Saturday to a place near Greensborough (I think)
It's a little bit of a PITA, as we have to travel 2 and a half hours each way just for a 10 minute interview, but of course it is worth it!

I would like to take Jackson somewhere afterwards as the appointment is at 10am, but my brother will be working so we won't be able to see him. I'm thinking of taking a different route home, through lilydale and the yarra valley, just for a change of scenery. I'm sure I could find a lovely little park somewhere for Jack, and maybe a picnic basket lunch.

Wish us luck :)
Charli xox

I am faced with a dilemma at the moment, of which I can scarcely begin to uncover a solution.

When I began blogging, I felt that I *needed* to prelude with some background info about myself, my life, my 'story' thus far. I didn't really mind/worry about whether or not anyone would read this blog, as it is mostly just an outlet for me.

Anyhow, In that post, I revealed (not that it is any way a secret) that my husband, Gerard, is not the biological father of our eldest son Jackson. He is however, his father, having loved and raised him as his son for most of Jackson's life so far, he has truly earned, and lived up to that privilege/title.

Jackson's biological father 'B' has only met Jackson once, and apart from paying his child support without fail, has never had any other contact with me or my son. I've been ok with that decision...mostly. Sometimes my heart aches for my darling son, who is growing up knowing that he was created by a man apart from the father he knows and adores. Also for B, who, due to pride, youth, immaturity and a dreadfully manipulating mother, does not have the honour of knowing our child. Our beautiful, bright, amazing, articulate and passionate child. A child who steals hearts, who amazes all who know him.

My dilemma, is this:

I have never kept from Jackson the truth about his biological father. From the age of three, I carefully, lovingly explained (as much as neccesary) to my precious boy, that whilst he was created by B, Gez (Daddy) loves him and chose to be with us forever and we became a new family.

Recently, more and more often, he is asking questions about B, leading me to wonder whether or not to initiate contact, and see if B want's to be part of Jackson's life.

Here are the pro's;

- Jackson would know where he comes from
- I would feel that I had made an effort to make sure B did/n't want to be part of Jack's life
- A relationship may be established, and Jackson gain a new family not and in future

Here are the cons;

- B's mother is very manipulative and i'm not sure I want someone like that in Jackson's life
- B might reject Jack (not so different from the past 7 years, but it would be black and white)
- We may well be forced to 'share' custody at some point

There are probably many more things to add to both of those lists, but these are the things that come to mind immediately.
There is so much more to the whole situation, that would take me several posts to explain, and to be honest, I've been going through the whole thing in my mind for days now, so it's a little exhausting putting it down here, but I need to get down how I feel.

I am feeling like there is no "best" way to approach this. Like, if I contact B and he wants contact after all these years, how is that fair on Gerard, who has raised Jack as his own, given him everything he would give a child of his own blood? This is almost harder on him than it is on me, because he has to be the 'bystander' in some ways.

I feel like if I don't make an effort to initiate contact between my son and his biological father, that I am in some ways failing my son, even though B has never shown any interest in Jackson.
I feel selfish, because even though I would dearly love for my baby to have contact with B for all the reasons a child should know where he comes from, a part of me wishes it would all go away, and I could pretend B never existed.

I feel like if I do contact B, and it 'works out' for my son and B, I would somehow be failing the rest of my family, who strove to support, guide, protect, love unconditionally, my pregnancy, single parenthood and my son. Who respect and adore my husband for the committment he has demonstrated to a child he didn't father, but who he treats and loves as a son.

I feel so many emotions and instincts, but none which sticks in my mind as the 'right' solution to this problem. If you have read this post, Thankyou, for it is somewhat of a relief to get some of it out, and the possibility of someone sharing thier ideas. I do apologise if it doesn't make any sense (may have something to do with the glass of baileys next to the keyboard) but like I said, there is much background to this story which I have not documented, so I may have lost you ages ago :)

I guess if this goes further i'll have to spill now, so stay tuned (might be awhile before I make any kind of rational decision here)

Today was crazy! I don't usually have Mondays off, but swapped with Wednesday as I have a meeting in Seymour on Wed that I have to go to.
So, first of all, Ry and I went to see Angie, a fellow foster carer who has had little "J" for two years. "J" is two and a half now and has just been diagnosed with an Autism spectrum disorder, which is difficult for his carers, but more importantly, and he also happens to have been Our very first placement! We had J for a wonderful week, until he was moved to this more permanent placement with Angie and her husband. I am lucky enough to have a little contact with them, hence, I get to see "J" grow and develop with his foster parents.

After our lovely morning visit, Riley and I decided to go visit Oma and Opa (my grandparents on Mum's side) for a cup of Dutch coffee and a chat. It was just lovely, as we don't often get a chance to see them, with them being almost as busy socialising as I am working! lol

Riley wanted to go to the playground, so we picked up Daddy from work, and had greasy fish and chips at the park, then came home for a rest til Jack finished school.

If all that wasn't enough, a friend who has boys the same ages and in the same class/kinder group as mine, invited us for a playdate and dinner, so after school, we set off to thier house, which is about 20mins out of town. It was lovely, and the kids all got along like a house on fire, which was great, and she cooked us a yummy dinner! I will have them here sometime soon, it's nice to finally have a "school mum" friend, as my work has made it difficult for me to socialise with the other school mums.

Well and truly ready for bed now, so will wrap it up here :)

Love Charli

...is where we are headed! I just booked flights for the four of us, for a short trip (5 days) at the beginning of August, and I can't wait!! It is so nice knowing that we have a little break booked, so that it doesn't get held off because of work...money...time etc. We're going, and everything else will just have to work around us :)

If you know anywhere special in or around Hobart, please feel free to offer your insight as we have never been before.

Talk again soon,

Charli xox

...Stands for 'Last Minute Change of Plans'! Our footy weekend has been dumped for bigger and better things....the ticket auctioned off to a friend on Facebook lol.

What could be better than a family trip to the AFL?

SNOW!!!

Yep, Mt Buller was invaded by my two keen little skiing offspring yesterday, and did they ever have a ball! We learned that Buller was having an earlybird open weekend due to the cold snap last week, which delived a rather large dump of snow to the montaintops. Lift tickets were $20 and kids ski hire only $15!! We decided to take advantage, and ditched our AFL tickets for a day of snowplay, as well as the offer of free corporate tickets to the Winton V8 Supercars today.

Here are some snaps of my clever little boys on thier skis! You can click them to make them bigger. Isn't the view just gorgeous? The last pic is Riley, throwing an exhaustion induced tanty at the end of the day! It's hard work learning to ski, and Ry fell asleep in the car before we reached the bottom of the mountain, after a warm milo and cookies! The had a great time though, and we're hopeful that they'll open next weekend too.


Off to Winton now!

Love Charli xoxo

I think Riley may be ambidextrous.

This morning I noticed that he had two little drawings on his hands. (He's into drawing on things at the moment..including my TV cabinet grrrrr)
Anyway, so he's got two little stick figures, one on the back of each hand. Each have a head, two legs, a mouth and eyes.
That's the thing though, they are remarkably similar, which got me thinking, could I do that? No, I don't think I could. His two little pictures are obviously drawn with different hands, and yet they are the same, one is not wobblier than the other.

So, I think he might be ambidextrous.

What do you think?

What a lovely weekend!!! It's amazing how such an 'ordinary' thing such as rain, can make everyone look a little less stressed. Of course, rain here is not so 'ordinary', given that we have been in drought for the past decade, but even so, it's as though the drops not only wash away the dust and fill the dams, but also washes clean people's worries and fills them with hope. I know for me, it just feels like a breath of fresh air. Certainly by no means a victory dance, as there's no likelihood of the drought being 'broken', but all the same, such a refreshing feeling to drive down our dirt tracks without leaving a cloud of dust, and seeing fresh green tips on fire-charred trees.

Last week was a little bit crazy. Jackson has been battling an ear infection for the past three weeks, and after two doses of AB's, I got fed up with our local GP's and booken into our ENT specialist. Lucky I did too, as on Monday morning, the day of our appointment, my poor little boy woke up with blood staining the inside of his sore ear :( Normally this would bring on a pretty major panic attack on my part, but luckily I knew it would only be a few hours till we see the specialist, which is shorter than the time it would take to see a doctor if I took him to the ER here in town! He's been on some AB ear drops for a week now, and is all better, but now wearing plugs even in the shower to prevent it happening again.

On the weekend I took the boys to the ANZAC parade, which they loved, and taught them about how our soldiers fight in the war for our freedom, and that we must feel proud of them for what they sacrifice for us. Gez went to Myrtleford with the Wangaratta 4WD club, and led a team of volunteers from ACT, fencing for farmers who were affected by our recent fires. It is a devestating task, meeting the property owners and seeing how they are still coming to terms with the loss they suffered, and even more devestating to know that even though so many generous people donated millions of dollars, the money is only reaching some geographical areas, some categories of people, and those who are missing out the most, are the farmers. They do not qualify for funding because they are a business, because thier houses didnt burn (only thier haysheds, machinery sheds, livestock, fences and machinery) or because they simply live in the "wrong burnt area" (other towns are getting better support)
I went over with the kids on Satuday afternoon with meat and homemade salads to feed the team of generous people who gave thier time to lend a hand. The kids enjoyed being out 'camping' (we stayed in a cabin lol!) and toasing marshmellows. Must remember to take the more often overnight!

I'm working tomorrow, which is usually my day off, so i'm going to be tired by the weekend:( On sunday we'll take the kids to the footy, so will make sure to post some pictures of our outing!!

till then,

Charli xox

Well, you just never know... most likely not though, as my Jackka has always been slightly uncoordinated!
Today was his first day doing Auskick footy, and It actually went pretty well. I must admit that I was not pleased about this. I thought that footy was much too rough for my liking, and that I didn't want to be involved in the 'scene' that I thought came with the 'whole Aussie rules thing'. (I had envisaged cliquey, footy mad parents screaming at thier own kids, and bagging out others)
It was with great trepidation (seriously) that I let Gerard sign him up last month, after heaps of begging, and guilt trips from the boy, including "but Muuuummmm, Allll the kids in my grade play Auskick" (oh yes, they really do start early!)

Anyway, $70 later, we have a 6yo boy who's signed up for a season of footy training, and proudly toting an Auskick backpack, football vest, cap and football of his very own. In fact, cos Gez paid for his registration online, we also got four tickets to a football match in May, so that should be interesting as 'non footy-mad' parents!! (will let you know how it goes!)

The footy clinic actually wasn't so bad either :p There were plenty of mums I knew there this morning (the first week) and apart from Jackka being put in the wrong group to start with, he did really well, kicking and hand-balling with the other kids. Definitely not the best, but of course I don't expect that, but not the worst either. I was worried about this, as Jack has shown very little interest in playing ball even as a toddler, and he doesn't have very good ball skills at all!
So, he may surprise us I think. My brother was pretty ordinary at sport as a child, and loved it as he got older, so Jack might be like that too?
In the meantime, as long as he has a great time, makes new friends and learns new skills, I'm happy as Larry!!

Here are some pics of my big footy boy! (I think if you click the pics you can make them bigger)

'Til next time,

Charli xox

Ok, so I have mentioned in the past couple of posts that there has been heaps going on. I've been desperate to post about it all, but have just been FLAT OUT lately, I've worked the past two friday nights, as well as attending a hens weekend, my sister's 16th and a wedding...whew i'm exhausted!! (luckily on a week's break now)

On top of all that, my manager's position at my work has been abolished, meaning that she will not have her job at the end of june. On top of that, they have handed the management of my department over to another woman at work. I'm pretty nervous about it all. In some ways it would be ok, as annie, the new lady is very organised, which my current manager is not so much, but Annie has no background in Social work, and I have some concerns about the way she will run my department.
My job is not at much risk, and I am happy to continue on and just see how it goes, but the other day, mum came in and told me about a job in a town about 25mins north of our home. (I travel 35 mins east at the moment) The position is less hours, which would be a huge blow to our budget (hence the money saving) but it would mean that;

A/ I would be home before and after school for my boys (that's the best reason) and
B/ We could start Theraputic Foster Care
C/I would not be so worn out

I put my application in yesterday, so will fnd ut in the next fortnight. I'm a little nervous about getting the job, as there are some risks and drawbacks amongst the good things. One of them is obviously the money thing, (we will struggle) but also it means ry will have an extra day in daycare. The position is only 12mths, which is a bit of a risk, as my current position is permanent, but i'm going to try and negotiate 12mths leave without pay so that might fix that problem.

I think while it is scary staring a new job, getting this would be a good thing for me and my family, but if I dont, well at least I am lucky enough to have a secure job at present.

Wish me luck!!

Charli xoxox

This is a bit of a catch up post, as i have had a mental list off all the things I wanted to blog about, but just haven't had the time (and possibly lack of motivation may come into play also here ;)

Here's a little update on everyone;

Jackson
My big boy is LOVING school at the moment, and we are lucky enough to live just around the corner from his school. He has been able to exert some of his growing independence lately, by walking himself to school. There are no roads for him to cross, and it's only about a 150m walk, so I have been letting him go at our front gate some mornings. He loves this, and it is a huge improvement from last year, when we would have massive meltdowns if I wanted him to walk from the school gate!
Gez signed him up for Auskick last week, so in April he will begin the clinic. I'm a little unsure about this. He played soccer clinic last year, which I was happy with, but I'm not into football at all, and I didnt really want my boys to get into it if I could help it. However, the little (and big) boys at school are footy mad, and he was adament that he wanted to learn, so I couldn't really say no. He's been great this past couple off weeks. I was getting a bit worried as he was having some pretty big meltdowns a few weeks ago, and getting a bit violent toward me, which really scared me and made me feel quite vulnerable. This has stopped now, so i have concluded that it must have been a result of being overtired, and have made an effort to be extra affectionate, and talk with him more about whats happening at school, and how he's feeling.
We also had his school interviews last week, and he's travelling very well. We are especially pleased with his teacher this year, who has a caring, but no-nonsence manner, which we like and she seems to be able to understand our son well.

Riley
little man has been so cute lately! He loves his day off with me each week, when we simply snuggle up on the couch with pillows and quilts, watch television, read and do puzzles togther in between me doing some housework. He came up to me the other day, complaining that the TV show he just watched was "too short mama, I wanted it to be a long one" which cracked me up!
He's going well at Kinder, which is great, but I am noticing he's VERY tired, and has been breaking down in uncontrollable sobs over little things lately, so must try and gethim to bed earlier now that daylight savings is finishing next weekend.

Me and Gez
We've both been very busy in the past fortnight. I went on a hens weekend last week, and Gez watched the boys. The hens was great fun, although I was not really into it, as we had some major changes happen at work last week which left me reeling a bit (more on that next post) I did enjoy the time out with a big group of lovely girls though, and the wedding will also be lovely next weekend. I also am very busty with work at the moment, working on Friday night and also this coming Fri night till very late on top of my regular hours. This means poor Gez takes on extra work at home, so we all are very tired! I am taking some time off over easter, so will be glad for that little break! Money is beginning to get very tight, so I have been making a comcious effort to make plans for keeping our costs down and making life a little easier in the process. I will post about that soon, as it's qite late as I write this update, and I have cakes baking in the oven!

Take care,

Charli xo

The therapeutic care specialist and case manager visited wednesday. The appointment had been booked in for quite a while, and i reminded Gerard on Tuesday, then promptly forgot all about it lol! They turned up at midday, and I was a little upset with myself for letting the house get messy after I only cleaned up on Tuesday night!

Anyway, it was no formal assessment or anything like that, we already did that last year. They wanted to know the situation with our work, and get a feel for us as people/parents/carers/a couple etc as we (the workers and us) have not worked together directly before.

There is really only one barrier between us and a placement now, and that is our need for before school care. At the moment, there are two mornings a week where Jackson goes to school with a classmate, which couldn't happen with a foster child.

We have a couple of choices;

1. Forget about it for a while until we are in a better situation for TFC

2. Consider cutting back my hours at work (could jeapardise my position and my capability of getting everything done at work)

3. Cut back Gerard to 4 days per week (means less money, but also no childcare. also means he might have to pick up some weekend work here and there.)

4. Nope thats it, these are our choices.


Now, to decide.....

Is driving me insane at the moment

I.JUST.CANT.KEEP.UP

My husband and I are not tidy people.
I crave neatness and HATE when my house is not perfectly clean, however there is just no getting away from the fact that I am just not a naturally tidy person. Papers gather in unlikely places, things get crammed into cupboards and forgotten, and my very tall husband places his crap on top of evertything that has a top, grrrr!

Gez, when we first lived together, didn't do an awful lot to help with the housework, but did tidy up after himself quite well, meaning I only had to chase after my own messes and Jackson's. Now, five and a bit years on. He has dona a complete turn around, where he helps quite a lot in the home (a result of me working 4 days) which is just wonderful.. BUT...He is hopelessly messy now, and I fee like I'm constantly picking up after him (and us of course!)

I have been toying with the idea of getting someone to help with the housework for a couple of hours on my day off. I have been toying with this idea for the past 12 months. I'm not sure why I haven't done it yet, but I imagine it has quite a lot to do with pride ;p
I dont like the idea of paying something to do something that I feel I *should* be able to cope with on my own. I feel a bit of a failure at not keeping up, but feel as though my efforts are just scraping the surface.

Do you have help to keep your home? How do you justify it?
Please dont take this the wrong way, I just need some honest opinions here :)

I/We have had such a HUGE long weekend!

While we were in Thailand, my brother booked us tickets to see Coldplay live in Melbourne. The concert was on Thursday, and Gez and I took Friday off work. We dropped tho boys in Lilydale, where they didn't even bat and eyelid at being left with Amanda and Josh overnight! The concert wasd FANTASTIC! We knew almost all the songs, and they were just captivating the crowd. We both absolutely loved it, even Gez who wasn't so keen at the start :p
I was a bit unsure as well, I must admit. I have always avoided live music, as I have for some reason, a very sensitive ear, and If the singer is slightly out of tune, It completely puts me off, and is all I can hear. Drives me crazy! Anyway, I needn't have worried at all, because they didnt put a foot wrong! On Friday, Josh dropped our boys into the city in the morning and we went to the Melbourne Aquarium which the boys loved, and then to the Museum. It was lovely to spend the day together and share experiences with the boys. They had thier first tram ride too, which they have been talking about ever since, and now Riley pretends he's taking us for tram rides on the couch!

On Saturday night Julianne came over, and we went out for a lovely dinner at a nice restaurant in town. We shared a bottle of wine, and lovely meal and had a great night catching up. We planned to have a girls weekend soon in Albury, and visit the day spa etc, which will be divine! We also talked about having a family weekend over easter, camping and fishing with the two boys and two girls! I cant wait. Gex and Mark will enjoy fishing with the kids too, so if it works out, it will be great.

Yesterday I had to work all day. I cant really complain though, cos I spent my day at a music festival, getting double pay, and listening to some great new Australian music! The Pushover festival is a drug, alcohol and smoke free event for young people, and while it's not really my scene personally, I was excited to see this singer live, Kate Miller-Heidke who i've been listening to for a while and LOVE her voice. She's Opera trained, so she has amazing range and her tone and pitch is close to perfect! She was as good live as on my cd (which I got autographed!). The beautiful and very talented Kate Miller-Heidke, live in the flesh!
Left home at 8.30am, and got back at 12.30am though, so I was absolutely stuffed, and had a little sleep in today :)

(As a side, the other day, after spending half an hour refreshing my screen at work, I got tickets to Lily Allen in June, which Im stoked about, so I have another great concert to look forward to!)

Glad to be home with my boys today, thay are just the sweetest little things at the moment, and Im wishing I had an excuse to stay home with them instead of working!
Made a lovely luch of grilled pesto cicken on a yummy mixed salad with sundried tomato balsamic dressing. Craving good food and wine at the moment, so brought things for a feast of Roasted tomato and basil Bruchetta for entree, and a chicken, mushroon and Asparagus pasta with creamy white wine sauce tonight. I also got a sweet Brown Brothers champagne to try (Gez wont drink dry)

My aunty and uncle came up on the weekend from the mornington peninsula, and brought thier three boys. The boys are getting so big now, Mitchell is 11, Josh 9 and Thomas 6. They are going to become big brothers again, as Julia has just found out she's pregnant! I am excited about getting a new baby cousin at the end of this year, but also worried for her as she has had pretty bad post natal depression with the last two children. I hope that she'll be ok this time, now that all the other kids are at school, but am worried about if it is another boy, as she's desperate for a little girl. Jackson will be ecstatic, he adores babies, and Julia's kids will be such loving big brothers!