I took Felix to have his photo's taken by a girl in town who is just starting out in digital photography of babies and families. She did an amazing job, and for only a small cost we get a disk of the pictures! Felix was an angel, at six days old - slept through almost the entire shoot!!
Anna hasn't finished putting our disk together yet, but here are a couple she gave me before Christmas;

Well, here I am...back online sans one basketball belly and pro one gorgeous, sweet smelling, cuddly little newborn, isn't he just the sweetest?

Felix Elijah joined us earthside on Saturday 11th December, three days after he was 'due' to arrive and after around 8hrs of labour. He weighed in at a healthy 3500g (7lb12oz) and 50cm length.
Felix's birth story is a little eventful, and I shall get to onto writing it asap, but in the meantime, some pics of Felix's first couple of days :)

Freshly baked - still a little purple!

''He's got blonde hair!!''

Meeting his big brothers The next day - meeting Felix with Mummy (I hemorrhaged and was unable to see visitors the first day)  New Big Brother! Tegan and Felix Jackson is in love!!!! I am home with the four kids all on school holidays for the next six weeks, which almost makes me break out in hives thinking about lol! trying to get into Christmas with lots of carols and Christmas cooking with the kids, but will try and get Felix's birth story on here soon!

Back to the short and sweet birth stories of my boys. Today it's Riley, who's birth was a completely different experience to that I had with Jackson.
Riley was due in Feb 2005. It was the longest, hottest most uncomfortable summer of my life!! I didn't gain as much weight while pregnant with Riley, but with the heat of summer, and the fact that we were renting a house with only one (questionable) air-con, I was completely over it by about 37 weeks!
I joked pleaded with my doctor several times in my 39th week to 'get this baby out', and was completely sick of the whole affair and anticipating another overdue bub.

A week before he was due to arrive, I started havingh contractions while at a friend's house. They lasted most of the day, and after dinner we decided to leave Jackson there over night as we were pretty sure 'this was it'. By midnight it had come to a halt, only adding to my frustration!
The following week, on the day of his due date, the 23rd Feb, I woke at 5.30am with an almighty contraction. It was stronger than any I had felt through almost the entire labour with Jackson, and I got a bit of a shock when they contined irregularly in this fashion for most of the day. Again frustrated however, that I would go for several hours with no contractions - then get three or four enormous ones in a row. Called the midwives at the hospital, who said not to worry about coming in until they were five mins or less apart or my waters were broken.

By 5.30pm on the same day, I was cranky, tired from the extreme pain of the (irregular) contractions and called the hospital again to see if I could see my Dr (to beg for him to get this baby out NOW lol)
I arrived there at 6, and surprisingly, by that time had started to get regular strong contractions, and was feeling a little more optimistic about the possibility of meeting my baby in the next 24 hours.
Imagine my surprise when I was announced to be 8cm dilated already, after only half an hour or less of 'regular' contractions! My waters were broken (although when I think on it now I'm not sure why?) and Riley arrived fast and furious with only the gas for pain relief just after 7pm - only an hour since we arrived at the hospital with irregular contractions!!!

Unfortunately, although the birth was very short, I felt shock at him coming so fast, and found it much more difficult to bond with my second son. This, coupled with Gerard and his family visiting and holding Riley at every opportunity, and the extreme after-birth pains and let-down pains I was experiencing for the first time (I had neither with Jackson) it took me a while to get to know him.

I am determined this time to be ready for a quick labour if it happens, and to make sure I get the breastfeeding thing working before I leave the hospital, but am confident after my two very different experiences of birth, I could handle almost anything!!

Considering this week is all about labour and birth for me - being that I'm going to be doing it all again at any moment - I thought I might share some memories from my experiences with my other two baby boys.
Each were very different, and I will be interested to compare the three after our little freckle arrives anytime in the next 10 days!

Tomorrow is my 'due' date. We concieved this baby on the 17th of March this year according to the calculations the www is giving me, based on my regular 26 day menstrual cycle.
I've been here twice before.
It's a nice feeling to get to today and feel you have 'made it', despite that there is such a long way to go.

In October 2002, my Jackson was due on the 9th, and arrived on the 19th. The weather was mild in October, and although I had gained many kilograms during the pregnancy, I was comfortable and not too stressed at all about being 'overdue'. There was no talk yet of being induced. There was very little stress.
Contractions started evenly and lightly at about 10pm on the 17th October while I was staying at my parents house, and I was far too excited to sleep (bad move!) I laboured slowly and steadily all evening and all the next day - finally caving and heading to hospital on Friday 18th at around 6pm. I was given panadiene and told to get some sleep...and after a couple of hours contractions slowed. In the morning things picked up a little, but after a couple of nights without sleep I was exhausted and not coping with the continuous pain and decided to have an epidural. The doctor broke my waters at around 11am, I was given a shot of pethidine (started to have a panic attack) and the epi was put in about midday. Mum was my support during labour, and she was incredible! I found that the epidural wore off (far too) often over the next few hours, but this turned out to bee a positive thing for the next stage of labour, as I was able to push my baby out without help. He arrived slowly and steadily - just like the labour at 8.07pm on Saturday 19th October - 10 days after his EDD and after 38 hours of labour.

I thought he was the most incredible thing I had ever seen - literally thought I was holding an angel in my arms in my drugged, eurphoric haze after giving birth. We snuggled skin to skin for a long period, and he fed straight away in the time after birth. Most visiters began to arrive the following morning, so I had all night to look at my baby and get to know him, and from the moment he arrived he was all mine. We fed easily, and he fed to sleep from birth, making feeding and co-sleeping a breeze. Despite the circumstances surrounding us during the pregnancy, long labour, and my being a single mother - Jackson's birth and newborn-hood were beautiful and calm.

We love a Sunday drive, and one of our favourite places to go as a family on a Sunday is the historic town of Beechworth.

It's perfect because

• all the shops are open, 
• It's only a 45min drive for us, but there is more than enough to do to fill a day - and keep going back!
• it's quaint and suits me and Tegan for browsing through beautiful little boutiques for unusual jewellery, stationary and homeware finds.
• There's the most amazing sweets shop for the children, as well as Beechworth Honey - where they can go on a live bee tour, and a gorgeous toys and collectables shop
• We can munch on Bee-stings at the famous Beechworth Bakery
• and on the way home, we can visit the Milawa Cheese Factory, Brown Brothers Winery and various other wonderful cruisy places to relax/dine/wine taste etc 

Today we strolled through the street, had morning tea at the bakery, visited a strawberry farm, went to see a waterfall in the national park, had lunch at the Milawa Cheese Factory and visited Jenny, Rob and Micheal in Oxley on the way home for an early BBQ dinner and a swim in thier swim spa!

It was glorious, and also the last time we do it with the five of us - next time there will be six!!

Here are the children and I at the falls. Four days off our little freckle being 'due'

I'm jumping on board here with Bubby Makes Three for her 'Show it like it is Challenge' where she invites bloggers to share pics of thier lives and homes as they are - without the 'magazine appeal'. This week she's posted about her Christmas Tree, and invites us to share ours.

I just happened to drag our tree out of the top cupboard in our bedroom this morning (with the help of Gez!) after Tegan remembered at 7am that it was the 1st of December and that we'd told the children last week they had to wait until December to decorate for the season!

I love Christmas - it's always been a happy and joyous time of year for me and our family, and as a child, Christmas was spent with masses of cousins, simple yet thoughtful gifts and sharing wonderful meals together. I love creating a similar atmosphere with my own children - despite that they rather lack in the cousins department!!

Our Christmas Tree holds a mixture of beautiful ornaments I have collected over the past few years, as well as the priceless home-made ones my the children have created. It's not spectacularly beautiful, and it's the same every year with the exception of a couple new ornaments added to the collection, but it is ours, and I love it - crappy tinsel and all!

Here are my babe's decorating the tree for 2010:

Recently, to satify my need for something both icy cold and fruity - as well as my need to consume cacium rich foods (I eat very little in the way of dairy products unless I disguise them) I've come up with (???) a recipe from scratch which we have all been loving - and it's totally healthy!!

All I do is use the stick blender to blend 1 cup of frozen berries, 1 tub of low fat yoghurt (any type/flavour but natural is just fine) and one banana.
It blends into a fantastic thick sorbet type mixture, which I am happy to eat as is - and the kids are loving in waffle cones for a treat after school :)

Yummy and FAST - Try it!!

I am halfway through the 38th week of my pregnancy, leaveing me with less than two before that magical date - the 8th December. Obviously I could be still sitting here with this belly for another three weeks...but lets worry about that if/when it happens!

I am getting more and more excited about our impending arrival, and surprised at how different this pregnancy has been in comparison to my other two boys.
I have craved very little this time around, and any cravings have been short lived, and mostly involved fruit, juice or icypoles. I've craved tomatoes, watermelon, strawberries and at the moment it's (hella-expensive) crunchy nectarines. Other than that I've craved orange juice, quelch icypoles, straight ice and (for a short period) iced coffee.

I've gained very little weight -So far I have gained about 5.5kg which sometimes makes me feel a little anxious, as I certainly gained the reccomended amount (and some!!) with both the other two boys. I feel tiny this time, and feel a little silly about the whingeing I did way back here about my friends and their tiny basketball bumps - cos that's exactly what I look like this time around. My appetite has decreased hugely over the past 9mths, and I find that I am eating portion sizes half what I would have before the pregnancy. I do snack a lot more on fruit during the day though.

Since Jackson starting the Ritalin, life here and the 'tone' of our home and family has changed dramatically. Jackson's tantrums have gone from being near-constant to less than four a week - and they are not nearly as bad as before. My (and the entire family's) stress level has decreased hugely, and we are all feeling calm and relaxed - I truly never would have thought it could be as good as it is right now, after what we have been through the past few months. I have been able to enjoy being pregnant and truly look forward to meeting our new little family member, without stressing about how we will manage around Jack.

Here's the bump and I last wednesday at exactly 38 weeks:

On the house front that is!

FINALLY - after five years of drawing up plan after plan after plan for extending our house, than deciding to sell/build, rent/rent, sell/rent/build etc etc etc. We seem to have dicovered 'THE' home extention/renovation which will suit our family and home 'perfectly' It sees us with an extra bedroom, main with ensuite, bigger bathroom/laundry and large open plan living area - all with only minimal builder assistance.

We will do all the bedroom reno's ourselves - this really just involves the building of wardrobes and associated plastering/painting etc. The ensuite will wait until the rest is done and if we have the $$ .

The only part we will need the builder for is the approx. 6m x 4m extention to the back of our house and stripping out the existing bathroom & laundry to make the bathroom slightly bigger as we don't have a bath in there at the moment.
I'm completely thrilled, as it is looking like an affordable yet viable option, and I get everything out of it that I wanted:

• Not messing with the structure of the existing front part of the house, 
• having the main bedrooms together, 
• a bigger bathroom 
• and an ensuite in the master b/r

We start the search for a builder on Monday!! Wish me luck :) 

Things have done an 'about turn' for us recently on a few different fronts.

• Gerard's father passing has left his mother living in our town, alone in a large, brand new house.
• His new job, whilst being a positive move for him on many levels, may not be somewhere he stays long-term.
• Jackson's issues have extended to school, and for the first time are being acknowledged there, meaning we are finally being better supported by his teachers. 
• Intervention from the Paediatrician, OT and Speech Therapist are being engaged - all of which we access in our town.
•  I am becoming increasingly anxious about feeling isolated with a newborn, as most of my close friends have children the same ages as my boys - and have 'passed' the baby stage.

All of these things have decided for us that moving out of town, to a new school and away from the kids extra curricular activities, playgroups, Gerard's mother and my grandmother (who is 85 and spends a lot of time with us - including several meals each week) is not an ideal step for us now, despite the obvious benefits I spoke about here.

This means we are going to stay put for a while, and make do with the six of us living in our three bedroom house. It's not perfect - we will be squashy, and we are looking into ways we can extend our home economically without feeling like we are simply 'tacking on a room'.

In the meantime, I am sitting at home, in my final weeks of pregnancy, desperately wanting to 'nest'...and having no nursery to decorate, walls to paint, space to create for our little boy-o. So, I am improvising.
His change area is set up in our lounge, and the cradle has a little corner in our bedroom. I am swooning over beautiful nurseries on the net - but for now am making do (and saving $$$)

Here's a peek at the spaces he will occupy around our home:

I've been meaning to get on here for a few days and say that things are starting to look up. Jack has seen the paed again, and unfortunately/or fortunately (???) is not displaying enough signs/symptems of any one behavioural disorder (rather an eclectic and somewhat confusing mix of several) to get a quick diagnosis, however the next few months will visit with a speech therapist and paediatric occupational therapist to help figure out where his strengths and weaknesses lie. He has also started on a minimum dose of ADHD medication, again as a diagnostic tool. We had great success with the medication for the first five days, but have just encountered a couple of bad days too. At school he seems more settled however, and this was our main concern, as his academic ability is very high when he is able to concentrate.

I am getting quite big now, although I am certain I am not as big as with the other two, having only gained about 5-6kg. I am feeling the heat in the afternoon now, and turned the evaporative cooling on this afternoon for the first time. We have decided on the little freckle's name now, and I have been starting to think about washing clothes and linen. I have a cute little stash of mcn's as well as trusty flats, so my fingers are crossed that Gerard will get the hang of cloths and disposables will rarely grace our little freckle's bum.

Here's the freckle and I at 36 weeks

We lost Gerard's father last Monday.
I cannot imagine the next couple of months when Gerard learns to live without his dad, the boys without thier Poppy.
It hurts my heart to imagine my husband not being able to chat with his dad. About the farm, the weather, the season, the horses. Anything.
It hurts my heart to imagine never hearing another of his stories, or being teased as we walk in the door, and hearing about the antics of my boys on the farm.
It hurts my heart to think that this baby never got to meet the man who would have doted on him more than anyone else in the world.
Poppy, we miss you so much.

Our Paed appointment is next week. It couldn't be soon enough if it was tomorrow.
After a great weekend, the sh*t really hit the fan early this week.
On Wednesday morning Mum offered to take Jackson overnights for the rest of the week.
I agreed. Heartbroken
I just simply am not coping.
We are all on edge, and it's not helping the situation.
We are having more bad days than good, both at home and school - despite our constant effort to maintain a peaceful environment in our home, and deflect the ever-threatening tantrums.
Mum and Dad are acknowledging the effort it takes to keep them at bay, even when he is there on his own with their undivided attention.
Gerard and I are guilt-ridden that we are starting to feel the need to consider medication for Jackson, but on the other hand, he is becoming incapable of learning at school, which has never been an issue before.

Today was better (he came home after school, and mum took both boys after dinner to let me rest)

I am making time to relax and de-stress.
Hopefully the weekend will be tantrum free.

 
We had a crazy week last week over here! I was not in the greatest state of mind - with having to send off the forms for my income protection to see if I am eligible. I am anxious and it is coming out as insomnia and lack of patience/tolerance.
Jackson's behaviour is continuing to challenge us, and as Gerard is not having much success with him at all, I am taking on most of the temper tantrums and oppositional behaviour. He is wanting to 'dictate the terms' of everything, especially consequences, so even once I get him to have a time out/quiet time, he is opposing me about how long it will last and where it will take place. Tantrums are rife but strangely inconsistant, we just don't know when they will erupt, how long they will last, or how bad they will be/get.

Good days at home however, seem to coincide with bad days at school, and the reverse is true also. For example, last week, after two dreadful days of tantrums at home on Weds/Thurs he had a fantastic morning and went off to school peacefully and tantrum-free on Friday. By lunchtime, the teacher had called to get me to collect him, as he was oppositional, emotional and simply incapable of coping with being there for the rest of the day. She asked me if I could think of a reason he might not be coping that day,  as Weds and Thurs had been his best days for a fortnight!?!?!?

We did have a brilliant weekend with him though, and despite neither Gerard or I feeling like we wanted to go, we attended a Fostercare camp in Melbourne, where we stayed overnight with other carers, carer's kids, kids in care and workers. We visited the Melbourne Zoo on Saturday afternoon, and the day was fun and peaceful :) We loved seeing the baby elephants, and the weather was overcast, but not cold or windy,so the zoo was not too busy!

My little poser!

Mali the baby elephant - doing a little happy dance :)

My gorgeous four!! Aww bless

Telling Mama all about the lions

Me and the troublesome teen :)

Jackka wanted a photo on this little fella every time we saw it!

Cheeky baby tigers - just like my two...soon to be three Arrghhh!

On Sunday we ventured into the city by tram, took a stroll along South Warf and visited the pregnancy, baby and kids expo at the exhibition centre, followed by enormous gelato's on the river-bank. it was nice and chilled out, and the closest we got to a tantrum with Jackson was when we were at the expo, and the noise and crowd were too much to handle and he started to wander away from us (to find somewhere quieter) once we left he was fine though (just took a few mins and lots of distraction to calm down) and we went on our merry way incident-free.

Of course, we copped it when we got home, but were prepared for that, and were so glad we went, it was good for all of us, and I am certainly more relaxed heading into this week.

I know, I know, I'm back already! This must be a record for me!

This pregnancy has gone soooo fast, like I blinked and missed it! I am noticing things I never noticed with the other two pregnancies, like how utterly exhausted I am, and people's reactions to my ever-expanding mid section!
I got a bit of a shock the other day when out getting supplies for Jackson's birthday dinner, at how many people in stores gave me that 'extra special smile'. I'm not sure if it's because you look so maternal, or if it's because they feel sorry for you, but either way, I'm starting to get them lol!

As well as 'the smile', I've begun to recieve extra special treatment when queueing at the supermarket. People take one look at my tum, and feel the need to let me through, and the other day I even had one of the store atendee's look for the fastest queue for me...wtf? Others see me loading my car, and ask if I need a hand, of hand me my shopping bags and say 'will you be alright with those'
It's all part of it I guess, but for goodness sake, I have a whole 7 weeks to go, do I really look like I can't manage 10 rissoles and a kilo and a half of sausages Mr Butcher?

It is interesting to note though, that I didn't really notice this extra attention when I was pregnant with the other two. Maybe because I was such a 'Young Mum' then (17 with Jackson and 19 with Ry)?
Maybe that's why I sound a little ungrateful for all the attention - I'm not, really, but, you know it feels a tad strange that I would be treated so differently this time, just because I'm a few years older....

Anyhoo, here's me and the Freckle at 33 weeks: ('scuse the crappy iPhone pic)

Jackson's 8th birthday was a rather quiet affair compared with other years, but we still managed to give him a special day, filled with love, fun and family :) He went off to school with 21 froggy cupcakes to share with his class, after a 'birthday breakfast' which is a ritual in our house, where the birthday boy/girl gets to choose whatever they like for breakfast the day before, and we all sit around the kitchen table together (much like every other day, but less rushed!) and share gifts.
After the kids left for school, I spent the rest of the day creating these cuties, and getting ready for a surprise family BBQ.

This little guy was one of my favourites - and it seems Jack and I have the same taste in monster cupcakes, as this was his choice too!

Wat u lookin at?

Hairy McScary!

'The Gang' (well, some of them!)

First view of the cake!

Jackson with his favourite Uncle Chris -About to blow out the candles!

Are you sayin' you're actually going to let me eat this? Colouring and all?

Mmmmmm...would you hurry up so I can eat it!!

So, all's well that ends well, and if you thought that the cupcakes would be the highlight of my boy's day, you've got it all wrong! When asked this morning what was the 'best thing about your birthday?' he replied by singing "You've got a friend in me"...so it seems the musical birthday card was the clear winner, and the cupcakes were purely for Mummy's enjoyment!

I gave birth
I was almost 18
I thought God had sent me an angel when I first set eyes on him (I actually really did, so drugged was I after a 36hr labour, no sleep, pethidine, epidural and gas!!)
I fell in love
I became a mother


Today, my boy turned 8 years old. Where oh where has the time gone to?
I still think God sent me an angel.
Jackson, my favourite first little bear, you bring me such joy and such dispair. Things are really, really hard for you right now, but Mummy and Daddy are trying our darndest to make it right for you my love. You always know when I am upset, or stressed or joyful. You know, and sometimes you use it to your advantage, but mostly you just know, and you let me know that you do in ways you probably don't even realize.
You are THE BEST big brother.IN.THE.WORLD. You simply adore Ry, and it shows. Always. We can't wait to see you adore this new little boy we're growing for you.
You are so very, very clever my boy. Much cleverer than we realize I think. I love the way you think and I wouldn't change it for anything, but I do wish sometimes it would slow down just a little so things were easier for you.

At the moment you love learning about animals. Birds especially, and you have Grandma and Grandad entralled by how quickly and thoroughly you are learning all sorts of minute details about the birds you spot around the farm. You will wander around for ages with Grandad's binoculars, and come running for us to 'see something special' when you make a 'find'.

We love you little man. Never ever forget how much. You will always be my favourite first little bear.

This is always a clear winner in this household when it comes to pleasing daddy and the kids in the packed lunchbox stakes, and Mum in the healthy stakes.
It contains no fat at all, only minimal sugar and is easy peasy to throw together on a sunday arvo, like I did today. The kids and Gez all LOVE it, as it stays way more moist than banana cake, and even though I am not perfect at healthy, creative lunchboxes, I do insist on minimal sugar, minimal processed foods and good variety.
I got the recipe from the Taste website, but have adjusted to suit our needs. The original recipe is posted below, with my changes in red :)

Hummingbird Cake

Ingredients

Enjoy!!

PS. Gez and I have been playing around with our new toy - a Nikon D90 DSLR!!!

Yesterday was a particularly crappy day.
Jackson had a tantrum before 9am (over socks)
I felt nauseaous until 2
the mower was out of fuel when I decided at 2pm to mow the lawn,
I got a letter from work saying that I was being paid my maternity leave as of today (not what I wanted)

and the clincher - when I tried to wax my legs (and seriously, do you know how difficult this is with a basketball-sized uterus?) the stupid wax stuck to my leg, but unstuck from the strips, leaving me with a huge amount of wax stuck on my leg, and the hair still intact.

So, after managing to get that off (don't even ask!), I did what any girl who prefers to wax, has all the kids at school and only lives a block and a half from Woollies would do...

I grabbed a spare razor and shaved the buggers

Wow, all I can say is I am sooo glad I didn't miss this opportunity. It was incredible, Mum came with me and we were both blown away by the clarity with which we could see our bub, right down to tiny little features we could identify him as 'ours' such as Rileys wide little nose and puffy squirrel cheeks, and Jackson's sleepy pout :)

So, here 'tis, our little freckle:

Aww bless :)