Riley wakes up a couple weeks ago announcing to me that he had a dream in the night. It went like this;

Riley: "Mummy, Mummy, I had a dream in the night time!"

Me: "Really honey, what was the dream about?"

Riley: "It was a dream about our baby, I dreamed it was a girl and her name was Mirryn"

Me: ''Oh, wow, what a nice dream"

Riley: "Yeah, I dreamed you laid your baby"

Me: "Oh, right...."

and in my head: like an egg?

I've been really anxious lately. There is just so much happening, and so much needing to be done that is being put on hold that I just feel a little helpless.
It's really late, which has been the case many an evening lately, where I finally drag myself to bed after midnight, despite a haze of fatigue which seems to have settled over me lately and refuse to budge. So, in order to get some stuff out i'm gonna dot point it. (I know, I know boring.....so shoot me)

• Gez's father is dong ok and has been out of intensive care a few days now after an almost three week stint. He had a benign tumour removed from his brain, which was causing him to have little balance and slurred speech among other things. The surgeon was pleased to have removed around 70%of the tumour. HOWEVER...since coming out of surgery, Eddie has developed a paralysis in his throat. This means he must have a tracheaotomy(sp) tube to breathe and he cannot swallow anything. the family are all devestated, and are running Gez's mum down to Melbourne every second or third day, so Ges has been twice a week for the past month. It's wearing us down, but we just have to keep plugging along and be positive.
• I am incredibly behind in my study, and have three assignments due in the next fortnight which I haven't even looked at. Grrr i'm so cross with myself, but I just cannot seem to get motivated.
• Our house needs to go on the market ASAP, so we can try to sell before I take Maternity leave and lose half my income. Pressure to sell is getting to me at the moment, and I walk around our house seeing every imperfection and all the clutter and just don't know where to start.
• My lower back and hips are KILLING me. I saw the doctor yesterday who referred me to a physio, but is not making any promises it will make much difference. Some days are ok, others are agony and I can barely walk by mid afternoon. I am grateful that it is not every day, and making the most of the good days and trying not to make a fuss - Gez has enough to deal with at the moment!
  

All the stuff that's going on and the strain I'm feeling as a result, has come out in me as anxiety about the baby. I've been stressing about every little thing, and was so relieved last night to finally feel some movement in my belly :) It felt a bit like a silver lining, and I'm so pleased it chose now to make it's presence felt to me. I am trying hard to cherish every moment of this, and not take for granted the experience.

That's it for now, but I'm thinking some pics might be in order shortly :)
Oh, and we will find out the sex of the baby in a fortnight. Gez is adamant about finding out, and he has the kids on side. I booked in for the scan on the 9th July.

This past couple of weeks have been incredibly hectic. Gerard’s father has had a brain tumour removed and is recovering in Hospital. It has been very touch and go the past 10 days, as he lost feeling in his throat, and got a lung infection, so has been in ICU at St Vincent’s Private for the past 10 days out of 15 in hospital. He will be in Melbourne a couple more weeks yet, and then be transferred to a local hospital if all is going well. Hopefully, by the time he is well enough to come home, their new house will be built, and he can go straight into it, where he is close to us and the hospital, and away from the cold, out-of-town farmhouse they are in at the moment.

News on The Bump:
I am beginning to get a little bump, but it’s not very noticeable yet. I was getting a bit frustrated last week, as people from work would ask how far along I was, and then say “14 weeks? You don’t even have a belly yet” and "Shouldn’t you be bigger by now? My *daughter/niece…insert relevant pregnant family member here* is only *insert smaller number of gestational weeks than I here* weeks and she’s much bigger than you”

For goodness sake, can’t people just say I look lovely, or, well, nothing at all? I was not only getting annoyed at my ‘lack of swelling tum’ but also vaguely alarmed that so-and-so’s sister’s husband’s cousin, who is ONLY 11 weeks along, is soooo much bigger around the middle than I, and did that mean that there was something wrong with my baby?

Anywho, I have consoled myself with more than one block of Cadbury Coconut Rough chocolate, and the knowledge that it will only be another couple of months and those same people will be giving their opinions about just how many babies I might
be carrying in my *huge* belly!!

The House
So, the next big thing is our not-so-big house (a cosy, three bedroom Californian Bungalow style house) and how exactly we are going to accommodate our not-so-small-and-ever-growing family.

Gerard usually manages any refurbishing type jobs around our home, from plastering and painting, to gardening, building outdoor entertainment areas and mounting spas. However, I decided that with all that he has on his plate at the moment while his father is ill, it is just too much to ask him to get our house ready for sale as well.
I’ve been getting a little stressed about this, as I only have four and a half months left of work until I take maternity leave, after which time we will not have a high enough income to be granted a loan to buy/build a house big enough for the brood.

So, I have tentatively organised a family-friend-handyman-type to come and do a weeks work on the house, painting, tidying up gardens and generally getting the place prettied up for sale. This is a win win for us, as we can let him go and know that he will do a great job and know exactly the types of things to do which will make the place more appealing to the buyer, but also no costing us the earth in the meantime.
I am happy, the boy is getting over the fact that I am ‘replacing’ him and the house is appreciating the de-cluttering I am giving it in preparation!

The Kids
The kids are doing really well at the moment, although Jackson has just gotten over a cold/cough type bug, and Riley seems to be getting it now. Jack was involved in the State Indonesian Speaking Competition ‘Sayembara Lisan’ again this year, and several weeks ago he was chosen as a finalist for the region. Mum trundled him off to Melbourne last week for the state finals, and GUESS WHAT? He came 2nd!!!!
We are so proud and excited for him, and next month we take hime to Melbourne for a presentation!

The boys are going to have two days at a little school out of town this week, so Gerard and I are each taking a day off work to spend with them at the school and get a feel for it to see if we feel it would be a better environment for our kids. It’s such a big decision, and we don’t want to get it wrong, but we both feel that we need to make a change, as we are not completely satisfied that their schooling is exactly what we want for them. Fingers crossed this feels right!

Tegan is going well at school too. She has exams this week, and has been studying really hard. Gerard and I are proud of her for taking her schooling so seriously this year. I must remember to tell her so.

Anyway, this is one huge post, so I will leave it there, but back soon!

Love always,
Charli xoxox

I called our FC agency a few months ago to see if they were supporting carers to attend the conference this year, as Gerard and I went when we had Talia, almost 3 years ago! It was an amazing experience, and gave us a wealth of knowledge and understanding as carers, which has made such a difference over our past 4 year caring for children and young people.

The conference is boing held in Hobart this year, so Gerard and I decided it would be a great opportunity to attend, as flights are reasonably inexpensive, and we both loved visiting the state for the first time last year with the boys.

Our agency usually tries to sponsor people who have not attended the conference before, so I was not expecting heaps of financial support, so you can imagine my delight when they called the other day to say they are willing to pay the whole lot!! Flights, accommodation and registration. I'm stoked, it's about $600 each!

I am hoping that we can organise another couple of days there, but Mum and Dad are going to be away, so I think it might be a long shot. Either way, I'm excited that we are going, and looking forward to a little time away just Gez and I :)

Gez is away this week until Friday, so I'm holding the fort on my own till then (with some help from my grandma, who comes in the morning before I leave for work to walk the boys to school)

I've had to be super organised after a couple weeks of being lazy and letting Gerard do most of the cooking, and laying in bed as long as possible in the morning ;) So, I menu planned on Saturday evening as per usual, but with particular focus on making life a little easier for myself while Gez is away. All these meals I can either throw in the slow cooker in the morning before work and they're pretty much ready when I get home, or they only take me a short time to throw together while the boys are having showers.

Thought i'd share;

Monday: Apricot Chicken with Rice and stirfried greens

Tuesday: Slow cooker Corned silverside with boiled carrots and potatoes, lightly steamed
Broccoli and Zucchini and corn on the cob

Wednesday: Dinner at the Chinese resteraunt for Tegan's birthday

Thursday: Lentil, Pumkin and Chickpea curry with Rice, pappadums and green salad

Friday: Slow cooker Lamb, Vegetable and Barley Soup with crusty home-baked rolls (I make my own and they are a huge hit with the kids!)

Saturday: Roast Vegetable Ravioli with creamy pumpkin, pesto and roast capsicum sauce

Sunday: Chicken Parmagiarna with steamed vegies and garlic mash

So far I'm going great! The house is tidy, kids ready by the time Grandma arrives, and I'm out the door by 8am :)
Tonight is Tegan's birthday dinner. She loved waking up to a special breakfast 'party' this morning, and especially loved her gift from us, a digital camera. She's been really interested in photo imaging on her laptop lately (each student in her year level gets an Applemac from school)
so it was the perfect gift!!
We have a respite on the weekend, as well as Tegan's birthday party on Saturday evening, a camp-out at the farm with 5 friends from school! Should be interesting :)